Okay · 2 June 2001

It is my birthday. I am thirty-five years old.

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  1. I am thirty-five. I am thirty-five.
    — Dean Allen    Jun 2, 05:05 AM    #
  2. cheer. increasing age increases probability of further outbursts of wry wit at textism. therefore cheer. definitely cheer.
    — katatonik    Jun 2, 06:32 AM    #
  3. Pangloss provides Procrustean panegyrics in this/the best of all possible worlds:/ A birthday today (35, 53, 3.5...)/Must therefore be/The best of all possible birthdays/... fast asleep in bed/when it pleased heaven to send the Bulgarians to our noble castle of thunder-ten-tronckh/ they murdered my father and brother and cut my mother to pieces/ burning "Happy Birthday Mr. Allen" into the grass before carrying on their way/ over the iron bridge and out of sight/ Their cavalcade drifting in and out of the smoke/ Leaving nothing behind -- not even remorse.
    — colin whyte    Jun 2, 07:37 AM    #
  4. Being only 21, i can't identify. I'm going to live forever. I'm going to quite smokng eventually. I'm going to get my shit together eventually I'm going to be 35 eventually. Happy Birthday
    — Grant Stavely    Jun 2, 10:19 AM    #
  5. I won't sing "Happy Birthday", but only because I really can't sing. As long as you don't listen to Michael Balton, you'll be fine. Not that I have any experience doing any of them; being thirtyfive is in the far fetched future and as for Bolton... Well, you get the idea.
    — Nick    Jun 2, 01:15 PM    #
  6. room service has arrived with breakfast, mon amour joyeux anniversaire
    —    Jun 2, 02:23 PM    #
  7. Happy Birthday, Dean. I love you! Mom
    — Your Mom    Jun 2, 03:21 PM    #
  8. Happy birthday, Dean! And you should be happy, not only because it's your birthday, but because what you write is often quite interesting, and always very funny, and therefore makes us happy too. Take a day off, but keep up the good work!
    — Jon    Jun 2, 04:41 PM    #
  9. Happy Birthday and thank you for sharing your knowledge and insights. Your website is the best out there at the moment.
    — Timo    Jun 2, 05:02 PM    #
  10. Congrats on the annual marker. This is an interesting site. I discovered it by accident a few days ago while typing in random words as URLs. But, uh, where exactly are the sweaters? It all gets so confusing. I also could find no cheese at cheddar.com, although I doubt you can helpme out there.
    — Cisco Ducks    Jun 2, 06:05 PM    #
  11. Happy Birthday, ya old bastard.
    — Larry    Jun 2, 06:44 PM    #
  12. well congrats on making it this far, may you have many more years to perpetrate more wit and wisdom on an unsuspecting world.
    — Marc    Jun 2, 07:33 PM    #
  13. Happy Birthday from a fellow West Ender! Thanks for all the hysterics and more that is Textism. But please, now that you are 35, I trust you will refrain from roaming our neighbourhood shouting obscenities (you know the kind I mean) because, yes, it really does affect one's facial expression, not to mention putting a real damper on proceedings! It is so wrong. evermind, today I forgive you.
    — Mike    Jun 2, 08:37 PM    #
  14. Hail, hail - the keen wit and intellect is another year older and sharpening daily like a well-toiled over prison shank.
    — Terry Eaton    Jun 2, 08:37 PM    #
  15. Congrats! We happen to be the same age. I have considered moving to Canada after reading SMILT.
    — james    Jun 2, 09:03 PM    #
  16. Happy Birthday Dean from Pat and Wally in Port Alberni
    — Pat and Wally Craig    Jun 2, 09:23 PM    #
  17. Happy Birthday. Please stop bothering us.
    — Knopf Canada    Jun 2, 09:40 PM    #
  18. happy birthday. some other things that happened on june 2: http://www1.sympatico.ca/cgi-bin/on_this_day
    — heather    Jun 2, 10:02 PM    #
  19. Happy Birthday! Oh, what's the use?
    — Greg    Jun 2, 10:47 PM    #
  20. Whoo hoo, you do look great in that tux! Thanks to your mom for bringing you in, up and out. (For some reason I visualized a beard.) Happy Happy Birthday! Thirty five is the perfect age. Cheers.
    — mel    Jun 3, 12:07 AM    #
  21. crack the single malt. enjoy a dram.
    — Alistair    Jun 3, 12:28 AM    #
  22. happy birthday dean. i gain some solace in knowing that i have 10 years to try to be as witty as you.
    — sunil    Jun 3, 02:13 AM    #
  23. Happy birthday. May the next 35 bring you ever-increasing satisfaction.
    — Dave    Jun 3, 02:59 AM    #
  24. Congrats from a fellow Vancouverite. Sneaking peeks at Textism and Cardigan helps my regular work-day move along.
    — Erwin    Jun 3, 04:22 AM    #
  25. Happy Birthday you crazy coked up bastard. You crack us up at www.cdnarchitect.com It is interesting to note that you live in Wankoffer. I lived there 3 years and had to move because I found most of its denizens excessively dull and only interested in Tevas and skiing. Wish I'd met you. Nyla
    — Nyla Matuk    Jun 3, 02:39 PM    #
  26. Happy Birthday, a day late. I guess this implies I should read textism every day...
    — Aaron    Jun 3, 04:16 PM    #
  27. For me, it is the line-height and the small-caps that makes it so pleasant.
    — John Q. Elemeno    Jun 3, 04:45 PM    #
  28. Aw, thanks a tonne, ya big bunch o" lugnuts. Pardon me a sec...I have something...snif...in my eye...
    — Dean Allen    Jun 3, 06:05 PM    #
  29. Yay! And you're not even unhip yet!
    — ben    Jun 3, 11:35 PM    #
  30. No roasting, just toasting
    — Blaise    Jun 4, 03:52 AM    #
  31. 35 was great -- I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Teenagers think you're really old and the rest of us get tears of nostalgia when we remember the days. I'm looking forward to more wit and wisdom at textism!
    — kristin    Jun 4, 01:48 PM    #
  32. belated but heartfelt well-wishery from a reg. reader of cardigan content. may the page of your next year be Regularly Refresh'd.
    — bill    Jun 4, 05:26 PM    #
  33. Why the fuck would I want to wish you a happy birthday? Did you remember my birthday? Did you send flowers? A card? That red Ferrari that I have wanted for years? No. So screw you! No birthday wishes from here!
    — Does it matter, I mean Really?    Jun 4, 09:21 PM    #
  34. We, the representatives of the International Organization for the Preservation of Serifs, do hereby decree, belatedly, June 2, 2001 to have been CARDIGAN INDUSTRIES DAY in the province of 9th St. of Brooklyn in appreciation of MR. DEAN ALLEN's efforts in the promotion and preservation of serifs throughout the world.
    — Paul Ford    Jun 5, 12:49 PM    #
  35. hurrah! 35 is a good year. halfway to the grave, if you're lucky. time for a midlife crisis...
    — james mcnally    Jun 6, 11:30 AM    #

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