Textism: Paws

Paws · 9 July 2001

I’m off to act like I know what I’m talking about for the next week; the most worrisome aspect of which is the bed-at-a-reasonable-hour business, and the attendant up-at-an-ungodly-hour business, and during which postings to this site will be scant.

In the meantime, please take a moment to answer the following question:

* * *

It's a teenager seeing porn for the first time.
— Buster Jul 9, 04:37 AM #
what it is.
— moz Jul 9, 05:27 AM #
It's the rompin', stompin', livin' end.
— P. Leo Nasm Jul 9, 06:06 AM #
Something I can't quite put my finger on.
— trawets Jul 9, 07:10 AM #
The basis for a whole new way of living
— David Jul 9, 09:48 AM #
you want it all, but you can't have it
— scott Jul 9, 10:18 AM #
Having ruled out a bird and a plane, it is Superman.
— Aaron Jul 9, 10:39 AM #
6 billion people just trying to figure it out.
— will Jul 9, 11:17 AM #
It's an individual interpretation, but there's also an objective reality beneath it all. Alternately, it's just a Chinese Room. Mostly it's just trying to get a little H to get through the night, living in Chicago, feeling bad about your harelip. It has something to do with color, and getting tired. Then there's the phone - ringing - and you know who it is and you can't decide whether to answer it. It's definitely her, and it's your brother coming home from college with a girl who doesn't seem to like your house or family. Then later you went to a dance club and someone grabbed your ass and you felt like a million bucks. Eventually you hooked up with a lot of artists and writers but it's not that they're not your people, they're just not family, even though you all tell yourselves you are, celebrating holidays together, and so you start to wonder just what would be family, how you might put something together in your life that can't simply split for other counties or countries, that is mutually anchored. That starts to be more important than any combination of math and light and speaking, more binding than any phone line - your contract with the world, expanding out past the pale core of nihilistic rambling and into a place where your desires override your logic and you want only to be needed, truly required, of genuine value in something that has edges you can't touch.
— panda eats farmer Jul 9, 11:40 AM #
It's the same thing it's always been and if we knew what that was, we'd all be happier people!
— jennifer Jul 9, 11:55 AM #
hi.
— dennis Jul 9, 11:57 AM #
I'm not sure, but something fishy is definitely going on here.
— david Jul 9, 12:07 PM #
Why? Does it look bad? Do you think I should see a doctor?
— Dave Jul 9, 12:26 PM #
A pronoun.
— Bill Jul 9, 01:18 PM #
It and I are one.
— Samantha Jul 9, 01:34 PM #
Geez, it's nothing, never mind, sorry I asked.
— melissa Jul 9, 01:48 PM #
The appearance of impropriety.
— Alistair Jul 9, 02:02 PM #
Listen, it's not you -- it's me.
— tipper Jul 9, 02:09 PM #
It: it (t) pron. Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; an action; or an abstraction: polished the table until it shone; couldn't find out who it was; opened the meeting by calling it to order. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb: It is snowing. Used as an anticipatory subject or object: Is it certain that they will win? Used as an anticipatory subject to emphasize a term that is not itself a subject: It was on Friday that all the snow fell. Used to refer to a general condition or state of affairs: She couldn't stand it. Used to refer to a crucial situation or culmination: This is itthe rivals are finally face to face. That's it! I won't tolerate any more foolishness. Informal. Used to refer to something that is the best, the most desirable, or without equal: He thinks he's it. That steak was really it! n. Games. A player, as in tag, who attempts to find or catch the other players. An animal that has been neutered: The cat is an it. Idiom: with it Slang Aware of or knowledgeable about the latest trends or developments. Mentally responsive and perceptive: I'm just not with it today.
— kiri Jul 9, 02:21 PM #
Yes. Frequently.
— kristin Jul 9, 02:25 PM #
twice on thursdays.
— Jul 9, 02:32 PM #
It, is the waiting for he AND me It, is he not here yet?
— impatient Jul 9, 02:37 PM #
I thought _you_ knew!
— Suzanne Jul 9, 02:41 PM #
Maybe we should put it this way. What does it seem like to you?
— Phil Jul 9, 02:50 PM #
it's my thingy.
— vicki Jul 9, 02:55 PM #
It's Tim Curry hamming it up as an evil psychotic clown.
— Monique Jul 9, 03:09 PM #
quit asking questions, you know damn well what it is! get yer ass in gear son!
— m Jul 9, 03:14 PM #
I had it - but I think I've lost it.
— Jeff Jul 9, 03:16 PM #
IT is information technology; a way for nerds to get back at all the assholes who've mistreated them over the years. To find out what it means to wear the smug grin for a change. To get a little tail at the company xmas party, a little cachet around the water cooler, a new pair of designer glasses, maybe. It is the s**t.
— will gates Jul 9, 03:40 PM #
It's bad customer service. And I'm sick of it.
— chunkbot Jul 9, 03:53 PM #
None of your business!
— deb Jul 9, 04:08 PM #
What was the question again?
— Kawika Holbrook Jul 9, 04:24 PM #
it is your mom's fat ass.
— dooce Jul 9, 04:34 PM #
it is your mom's fat ass.
— dooce Jul 9, 04:34 PM #
It is that which cannot be named.
— A.Huff Jul 9, 04:49 PM #
Go ask your mother.
— arttoys Jul 9, 04:56 PM #
"It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important now."
— Joe Clark Jul 9, 04:58 PM #
It is the frayed end of a knotted rope, swaying above a stagnant pond.
— britt Jul 9, 05:08 PM #
I don't know, but it tastes like chicken!
— Hughes Jul 9, 05:16 PM #
In the food category, it is arugula pesto; fresh pasta; new baby potatoes; sweet potato french fries; licorice (black only). In the fun category, it is The Festival of Geraniums, my ex-husband's website, www.jimnielson.com; Great Pyrenees; the Dean Stockwell scene in Blue Velvet; the novels of Donald Antrim; Franny and Zooey by Salinger. In the interpersonal category, it is sex without sex toys, lubes, robes or lotions; flirting with attractive strangers; noting that Peter Mansbridge bears an uncanny resemblance to one's psychoanalyst; the effects of this notation on the brain.
— Nyla and the Candy-Coated Clown Jul 9, 05:42 PM #
Depends. What does it want to be?
— Spleem Zego Jul 9, 05:53 PM #
It is the written word. So eloquent. Embrace it.
— Terry Jul 9, 05:56 PM #
Whatever it is it's alive and it's going to eat us! Get out of that swamp! Get out, I say! It's going to get you, dear God! Oh my God. It got him. It got him. Everyone, run for your lives! Run, there's no time. Run! Here it comes! It'll eat the whole town if we don't do something. Oh what'll we do?
— ollie Jul 9, 06:50 PM #
Ask not what it is, ask what you are for it....
— kristin Jul 9, 07:06 PM #
if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise!
— ari Jul 9, 07:08 PM #
Wouldn't *you* like to know.
— Liav Jul 9, 07:14 PM #
It's . . . it's . . . it's . . . it's . . . it's . . . it's . . . it's . . . it's . . . no, it is, really it is . . . hang on, I'm getting it . . . it's . . . it's . . . what? . . . what? . . . you what? . . . you WHAT? . . . no, I don't think so . . . it's not your problem . . . it's my problem . . . I have the answer . . . it's just that it's . . . er . . .
— Vaughan Jul 9, 07:29 PM #
It's out back in the shed.
— A.huff Jul 9, 08:04 PM #
It isn't.
— Matt Jul 9, 08:27 PM #
Baby, it's you.
— chad Jul 9, 09:13 PM #
none of your business
— wigs Jul 9, 09:56 PM #
It is an anti-gravity scooter.
— It Jul 9, 10:00 PM #
its the sound of the wind as it whisks over my head, and of coming across the perplexing sight of over a hundred dead young gulls off the side of a road the other day
— caroline Jul 9, 10:37 PM #
Is this question rhetorical?
— mistersister Jul 9, 11:41 PM #
Twenty dollars, same as in town.
— Jack Jul 10, 12:38 AM #
If you don't know by now, you'll probably read about it in a glossary somewhere and wonder where you were when it was in and why didn't you notice it all along.
— daniel Jul 10, 12:50 AM #
I don't know what the hell that is. What the hell is that thing?
— Jimbler Jul 10, 01:31 AM #
Oh, it's nothing, I'm fine. Thanks for asking.
— Hildegarde Jul 10, 02:01 AM #
it is. . . ". . .life. the rest is implied." o. mcgrann, "parables" or. . . it is a shamless piece of self-promotion! (sorry). www.patientlywaiting.com www.sardonic201.net
— pratt Jul 10, 02:16 AM #
why don't you ask it what it is? the more important question is: does it have buddha nature? can it answer that question for you? remember the koan of the boy at the river. meditate on this; when you understand it, visit me again.
— ecd Jul 10, 02:37 AM #
is depends on what the meaning of 'is' it.
— dave Jul 10, 04:37 AM #
It's a modern fairy tale. And it doesn't hurt to believe.
— rahat Jul 10, 05:11 AM #
It is what always has been, always will be and that which is yet to be. It is unknowable, unseeable and utterly nonsensical. It is your destiny!
— Patti Jul 10, 05:15 AM #
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0061826
— mark Jul 10, 05:34 AM #
IT is a 1966 7 litre Galaxie hardtop.
— phatcat Jul 10, 05:47 AM #
It's more than you'd hoped for, but less than you deserve.
— Leslie Jul 10, 10:43 AM #
It is the Lord thy God.
— wilkes Jul 10, 12:00 PM #
Trust me. It's just as scared of you as you are of it.
— Dave Jul 10, 01:41 PM #
mystical shit
— rik Jul 10, 02:12 PM #
It is a small, delicate thing of exquisite beauty, so don't step on it.
— Stacy Jul 10, 02:43 PM #
It tastes good!
— heather Jul 10, 02:57 PM #
"It"? No, no, I meant "if". Must have been a typo. No, no, now, I'm sorry. Looks like it really was supposed to be "it". What could I have meant by "it"? Can we just strike that whole sentence? No, the paragraph kind of falls apart if we do. Could I have meant "the lan with which they pursued their dreams"? Could that have been "it"? You know, "it" might have been "their apathy in the face of imminent disaster." I think that might have ... no, wait. Ah, screw it. Change it to "if" and let the proofreader get it.
— Lee Jul 10, 03:10 PM #
a duck
— o.d.boy Jul 10, 03:24 PM #
It's what now?
— Ben Jul 10, 06:41 PM #
Ooohhh! Wait, I know this! Don't tell me don't tell me!! [slaps forehead repeatedly] I know this I know this I know this! [gasps for air] No no, it's ok. I'm fine. Really. Test anxiety, that's all. [deeeeeep breath] Just ... hang on ... [passes out].
— michaelbrown Jul 10, 06:48 PM #
It is the enemy, and it is us.
— nragaz Jul 10, 07:33 PM #
A film by Crispin Glover with a Down's Syndrome orgy.
— sjc Jul 10, 07:57 PM #
it has élan, but it lacks éclat
— Not Tom Stoppard Jul 10, 08:52 PM #
the protagonist in a game of tag.
— nick Jul 10, 10:24 PM #
the song i sing
— steve Jul 11, 02:27 AM #
(old guy walks up) It's ... (cue monty python music, cutting off old guy)
— marq Jul 11, 02:50 AM #
It's the terruh tahm, everybody c'mon! [everybodyyyyy, hands in the aiiiiir...]
— warren Jul 11, 03:13 AM #
That thing, you know, the one you ordered. I left it on your chair.
— marco Jul 11, 05:22 AM #
pretty impressive, eh?
— jim Jul 11, 05:33 AM #
It's the in your face, ride it up, all the way down, adrenaline rush that you get from the best lettuce and tomato sandwich of your life.
— Amy Jul 11, 12:34 PM #
The extra finger my parents had cut off when I was born. I keep it in a jar. Sometimes, the scar itches; when I scratch the scar, the finger in the jar twitches. I wish they hadn't cut it off.
— john Jul 11, 02:14 PM #
You don't want to know.
— Pete Jul 11, 03:10 PM #
No, really, you don't want to know.
— Peter Jul 11, 03:11 PM #
It's that thing where the stuff has that junk? Then you take the deal with the part that does that crap, you know? Finally, the gob of something makes the thing go, erm, a noise I think? And everyone claps.
— Lance Jul 11, 05:02 PM #
it's a problem.
— bill Jul 11, 05:22 PM #
"If I could tell you, I would let you know..." Oh wait, that's Wystan talking (http://www.there.org/poems/auden.html). Alors, vous demandez qu'est-ce qu'est le/la "it"? Ce... sont les cheveux invisibles aux bras de votre amoureuse pendant vous buvez un beau pinot noir chez vous.
— Mechaieh Jul 11, 06:50 PM #
The hand of God over the universe
— Del Jul 11, 07:22 PM #
It's not as easy as it looks.
— A.Huff Jul 11, 07:44 PM #
who cares? if it smells good, eat it!
— mart Jul 11, 08:23 PM #
more importantly, if it falls in a forest and no one is around does it make a sound?
— shaun inman Jul 11, 08:29 PM #
it's based on a true story.
— Nathan Jul 11, 08:44 PM #
It ain't rocket science.
— kristin Jul 11, 11:46 PM #
It's a guessing game.
— kristin Jul 11, 11:47 PM #
If it was a snake, it would've bitten you.
— alan Jul 11, 11:49 PM #
Is it?
— Dragan Jul 12, 12:52 AM #
Pleasure and pain.
— jeff Jul 12, 02:00 AM #
Who knows?
— Brad Jul 12, 11:12 AM #
the bane of the knights who formerly said, 'Ni'.
— kevin Jul 12, 03:31 PM #
It's just... oh nothing. Forget it. Never mind. It doesn't matter. If you don't know *I'm* not telling you!
— Scott Jul 12, 04:40 PM #
A boy.
— G. Jul 12, 04:44 PM #
it's what we thought we knew but could never guess
— tony Jul 12, 05:01 PM #
it's what we thought we knew but could never guess
— tony Jul 12, 05:02 PM #
it's what we guess we thought but could never knew
— tony Jul 12, 07:48 PM #
Angelina Jolie's lips.
— An Jul 13, 04:27 AM #
It is the thing under the bed, in the closet, and lurking in the corner...waiting for you to fall asleep so that it can ravage your body and leave nothing but a pile of flesh, bone and blood.
— Rebobo Jul 13, 06:13 PM #
It's Mr. Toad's Wild Ride with a hangover on Monday morning and I'm an hour late for work, or... maybe it's gas. [shrug]
— Bimjo Jul 14, 04:24 AM #
It is the feeling of holding hands, of recognizing that we're all careening through the turbulent foam of time on the same earthship; and care.
— Tony Jul 14, 07:34 AM #
i think i lost it lemme know if you come across it - lucinda williams
— salmon Jul 14, 12:22 PM #
remember... arugula fresh from the garden steamed and limp over garlic pasta was in the mind of a lonely girl wearing a white t shirt in chicago who is thinking now (another day) of white from a mix in a red box summer cake with the jello dribbled down deep. is that a stain? dont ask. something spilled. (no, it didn't.) a clean shirt eating cake on the porch. where? the mind of a child to which arkansas and idaho are undistinguishingable. did she put salt on it? the arugala, yes. time passes... (shes probably beautiful, but i haven't asked yet.) what?
— frydry Jul 14, 03:32 PM #
it's the great in the small
— rodan Jul 15, 08:41 PM #
Whatever it is, that's no excuse for the way you've been behaving of late.
— scratch Jul 18, 01:26 AM #
...It's cryin', bleedin', lying on the floor So you lay down on it and you do it some more You've got to share it, so you dare it Then you bare it and you tear it... You want it all but you can't have it It's in your face but you can't grab it What is it? It's it. musicians: Faith No More song: The Real Thing
— faithless Jul 18, 02:42 AM #
it's the key To Your BRAND NEW CAR!
— johnny Jul 18, 02:44 AM #
merely a token of my deep appreciation, of my love, for you.
— crushedvelvet Jul 18, 02:46 AM #
It's probably the next best thing. The reaction.
— Kev Jul 20, 12:13 PM #
Well it's not mine, whatever it is. (Though secretly I wish it was.)
— StOo Jul 28, 09:45 PM #
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
— Cal Aug 5, 11:03 PM #
Test
— Dean Oct 10, 03:39 PM #

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