Sample · 18 February 2002
Highlights from a few of the entries received in the Bad Textism Contest, which is ongoing and fun:
From Eric (via Babelfish):
Walking during the night by the large throats of the buildings in my vicinity, I sometimes stop me and requires, Hey, glance with this whacking type except function on except function the chance that, some share with range of voice, there’s a type, know you, whacking in addition to. And then I try to imagine the change of the expression caused on his face. Is this evil?
From Oriana:
Ogdenism.
From Dan:
And just let your thoughts float there in the ether for a moment, oozing and dumb, realize the universe is sort of stunned and appalled and a little jaded by it all, no one quite sure what to do with all the visitors who must be thinking it must be some sort of joke and chuckling a little and then quickly hushing because they realized this site is often serious and Canada is just shaking its head sadly and saying screw it it’s Friday and taking the rest of the day off to putter around and read a book and maybe getting a nice vodka tonic somewhere with a friend to blow shit up and grumble about OS X because life is just too damn short.
From Dennis:
Out from underneath a thick, dunderheaded avalanche of slush-pile punditry and L’Unifolié-waving cockfighting in one’s native land, one expects a certain sourness, a hint of hauntedness, a kind of baggage-ness to follow on the heels of one’s existence. Bliss arrives in unexpected vessels: 10 photos of a Weimaraner’s feces.
But the favourite, so far, is from someone in Ohio:
Oh! Oh! Look at me! I’m sooo literate! The world, nay the universe, should hump itself ecstatically in the shadows of my funny lil’ observations and vague references to obscure celebrities! Done. Ha, Ha! Another quirky anecdote posted. A daily showering of mind expansion for the world (nay universe!). Oui, oui!
But as I lay smirking in the warm bubble bath of my self obsessed intellectualism, another idea. My cup dost runneth! A contest, yes! A contest to roast moi, yes! Oh how positively droll! Heaven. Correspondence to me ... about ... me ... which I can post on the site ... about me (nay moi)!
Good luck fair plebeians!
Whoo!
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