Bagel and Schmeer in Rural France · 23 December 2003
A Primer
Not really one for rituals, but on frequent bleary Sunday mornings back in Vancouver I’d journey far across the Burrard Street bridge to the Siegel’s on Cornwall, to buy bagels just out of the oven, lox, and tubs of Winnipeg cream cheese.
It is a salient truth that every human should find the bagel to which they are aligned by fate; for me it was plain (sometimes the poppy) at Siegel’s. I could foghorn on about texture and crumb and a balance of salt and sweet, but they were just really good. With lox, cream cheese, capers, and red onion they were heaven.
The inability to acquire, or replace, these bagels since moving two and a half years ago has been difficult. Bread is of course like a religious object here, but they just don’t get bagels. When you can find them they’re no better or worse than those of the Safeway bread aisle: er, awful.
From peering past the unemployed actors on cash at Siegel’s I always assumed there was some dark big-city science to bagelry; that it boiled down (sorry) to massive wood-burning ovens, iron kettles and long wooden paddles. But, thanks to this neat new thing called ‘google’, we have found you can get close even if cinching your burlap clothes with twine, kicking chickens out of the way barefoot in a dirt-floor kitchen, etc..
It can be done.
THE BAGEL: This is of course the heavy lifting. Herself found this recipe by Hillel Cooperman, and it is a keeper, with the following adjustments:
- For the malt syrup, substitute a tablespoon of Ovomaltine.
- A teaspoon of rock salt isn’t enough: make it two.
- 1/3 cup honey in the boiling bath isn’t quite enough: make it a half cup.
We’ve made them twice (well, she made them twice; I interfered on the second batch) and they get very close to bagel nirvana: a little sweet with just enough crusty resistance and chewy and light but still substantial on the inside.
THE CREAM CHEESE: plain Recettes de Madame Loïk in the blue & white tub does fine – not quite as unctuous as one might prefer, but can be thinned with milk. Vache qui rit in foil cubes is mere greasy kid stuff.
THE CAPERS: Available most anywhere. Maille are good.
THE RED ONION: Why are these so goddam expensive here?
THE SMOKED SALMON: Available most anywhere, pre-sliced and vacuum sealed. Scottish is better than Irish; both are better than Norwegian. If it’s labelled carpaccio de saumon, well, you don’t buy such foodie bunkum.
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