Having an iPhone means never saying no to "Do you mind waiting here for a minute, sweetie?"
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from iPhone: 53.518616,-113.499939
3
Who am I kidding? I'm just waiting for it to get dark enough so I can replace procrastination via internet with procrastination via LOST.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
1 hour, 6 minutes agoView original
3
Why can't science figure out how to make Sugar Babies without all the sugar while still maintaining the delicious taste of babies?
FarkerPeaceboy from Left Edge of U.S.
1 hour, 8 minutes agoView original
8
@tj Get your own material, buddy. I have to live with him, so I get all the jokes.
AmyJane (Amy Jane Gruber) from Philadelphia
1 hour, 13 minutes agoView original
3
Twitter informs me there's an issue affecting my Twitter relationships. No shit, Sherlock. That "issue" is my tweets.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
1 hour, 29 minutes agoView original
3
My ex got mad at me after her abortion.
Because I didn't tell her
(and she didn't notice until after)
that she had spinach in her vagina.
awryone (Josh Donoghue) from Connecticut
1 hour, 41 minutes agoView original
6
I was hoping the epic meme would die off until I heard Gruber said it was keeping him off Twitter. Now I'm thinking "Jerry Lewis telethon".
tj (TJ)
1 hour, 41 minutes agoView original
7
FIRST!
SmartAsshat (Smart as Shat) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1 hour, 44 minutes agoView original
4
It sucks that I can't tweet about being illiterate. Seems like that would be a _goldmine_ for funny.
aedison (Avery Edison) from Southampton, UK
3 hours, 5 minutes agoView original
3
The only cure for some days is to remove your pants and curl up tiny. If you retards fave this bullshit, I will never come back.
emilybrianna (Emily) from Louisville, Kentucky
3 hours, 31 minutes agoView original
3
Hey, remember when we all hated on each other for trying, for just a moment, to be part of something bigger than ourselves?
aedison (Avery Edison) from Southampton, UK
3 hours, 34 minutes agoView original
3
Hey quick. Somebody do that one about OH being about Iowa or something. Yeah, that shit was funny.
SeoulBrother from Tacoma
3 hours, 41 minutes agoView original
4
Nothing makes me happier than to get notification that my best friend, Penis Enhancement, has left a comment on our corporate blog.
jmspool (Jared M. Spool) from 510 Turnpike St, MA 01845, USA
3 hours, 59 minutes agoView original
4
The worst part about the McDonald's coffee / morning news controversy is the subtext that removing the cups will restore credibility.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
4 hours, 4 minutes agoView original
10
I'm quite happy to have fair-weather friends. I mean, who wants to go out when it's raining, anyhow? That's what that means, right?
aedison (Avery Edison) from Southampton, UK
4 hours, 5 minutes agoView original
3
EPIC INHALE
darthvader (Darth Vader) from Empire, CO
4 hours, 6 minutes agoView original
10
Oil production levels are being held at current levels? OPEC FAIL
meyerweb (Eric A. Meyer) from USA
4 hours, 8 minutes agoView original
7
1. Launch Twitterrific.
2. Check if people are still doing that thing.
3. Immediately quit Twitterrific and wait a few more hours.
gruber (John Gruber) from Philadelphia
4 hours, 34 minutes agoView original
11
How fucking sad is it that I go to type in the URL of the site I work for and I type in TWITTER.COM instead?
pdxgrrrl (Brie B.) from Portland, OR
4 hours, 37 minutes agoView original
3
When people say they're gonna "shoot you an email," it makes me want to "shoot them in the face."
jhuston from Chicago, IL
4 hours, 43 minutes agoView original
5