I take secret delight in seeing my neighbors' gaudy Xmas decorations scattered in a shambles after last night's snow storm.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
10 hours, 22 minutes agoView original
1
Waking from the turkey bender. I've apparently purchased some exotic animals and I may have eaten a sock.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
1 day, 4 hours agoView original
1
I'm boycotting Black Friday. But not in a racist way.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
3 days, 9 hours agoView original
1
Everyone at the store was buying stuffing and butter while I was only picking up a tube of Super Glue. My plans aren't like other peoples'.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
5 days, 2 hours agoView original
2
@soslight I would have done it for $50 AND I would have felt a little guilty about charging $50 to add a squirrel to anyone's logo.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
5 days, 3 hours agoView original
1
EW! I just TOUCHED THE TURKEY! I'm going to need a case and a half of high-end cootie spray.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
5 days, 4 hours agoView original
3
New York paid $17 million for a picture of a squirrel http://tinyurl.com/6psbd8
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
5 days, 4 hours agoView original
1
Happy Black Wednesday. May the Headless Turkey Spirit bring you fits of public intoxication, nudity and a rock solid insanity plea.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
5 days, 9 hours agoView original
1
Please don't ever let me be that grown man who references anything having to do with Dr. Demento.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
5 days, 20 hours agoView original
1
"It's always dark roast before the dawn"© - Which coffee franchise wants to pay me millions for the rights to that one?? I ACCEPT PAYPAL.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
6 days, 7 hours agoView original
4
My inner fight club despises me for spending so much time/money at Ikea.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
2
Wrong numbers are fun. Wrong number texts are funner. Wrong numbers with attached pictures of naked black men are THE BEST! Thx, "Anaconda".
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
1 week, 2 days agoView original
3
Palin apologizes for turkey slaughter. Proceeds to make sweet love to all living turkeys within reach as retribution. Turkeys pray 4 death.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
1 week, 3 days agoView original
2
I really need to prioritize. "Putting underwear on my cat" should shuffle back down the list and "world domination" needs to get bumped up.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
1 week, 3 days agoView original
1
The nail-gun just kicked a nail back at my forehead. It didn't stick there so I didn't take a picture.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
1 week, 4 days agoView original
1
Turducken is for amateurs. This year we'll be serving Cowpigasaur for our main dish, topped with a mango salsa. Beat that.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
1 week, 4 days agoView original
5
Dear Internet Explorer, You're a dick and I hate you. I hope you catch on fire and die. Love, Jason
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
1 week, 4 days agoView original
3
Editing PHP code is like trying to make an ice sculpture using only the Death Star's destroy-o ray.
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
1 week, 4 days agoView original
2
Secret nerdgasm - one of the best comic books from the last 30 years, Elfquest, is being made into a movie!!
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
1 week, 4 days agoView original
1
Today someone will offer to show you a "Zune video commercial". You will not be able to resist watching it and you will regret that decision
GorillaSushi (Jason Phillips) from Aurora, IL
1 week, 5 days agoView original
1