@mrsmoltz Step 1: sprinkle fish food on intruder. Step 2: open lid to tank. Step 3: GET OUT OF THE WAY.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
1 hour, 50 minutes agoView original
4
I'm here. I drank on the plane so no one could say they had a head start.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
4 hours, 9 minutes agoView original
10
@thedayhascome That is so funny because I've been playing Facebook for months now and I can't figure out how you win. Are there cheat codes?
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
13 hours, 36 minutes agoView original
18
It's a win-win for @mrsmoltz. Either it's a school day tomorrow or her parents and I are stuck here along with her and the boy.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
3
Uh, OK, the snow is sticking. THE SNOW IS STICKING. Sooo, if I'm not where I'm SUPPOSED TO BE FOR DRINKS TOMORROW IN SF, you'll know why.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
3
About to go out and grill some fish. In the snow. AS USALLY.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
1 day, 6 hours agoView original
4
Two Girls, One Cup Ramen. Is that anything?
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
1 day, 7 hours agoView original
15
Hank was lying on his little couch watching TV. After he ran off I went to put the couch back. There was a cupcake mushed underneath it.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
1 day, 8 hours agoView original
3
Packing for Macworld Expo. Quick question: Boba Fett or Jango Fett?
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
12
Seems a lot of people think the average webcock dresses like Austin Powers. That's not exactly how I imagined them.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
2 days, 12 hours agoView original
4
Trying to plan my Macworld wardrobe. What are all the major league webcocks wearing this year?
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
2 days, 13 hours agoView original
3
You guys giving @Ihnatko travel advice have all been punked. He's gotten 15 offers of free rides from nubile young coeds by now.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
3 days, 10 hours agoView original
1
@standupkid Hey! Do the producers come over to where *you* work and knock the dicks out of yeah, OK, I guess they do do that, don't they.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
3 days, 11 hours agoView original
1
It's so cold in this bathroom I think I'm going to have to shower with my clothes on.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
3 days, 14 hours agoView original
10
By the number of new followers I've gotten within the last 24 hours, I'd say a bunch of people resolved to get more dick jokes in 2009.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
4 days, 6 hours agoView original
14
Hey! Who put all this gin in my glass?!
Oh, that's right. I did. How silly of me.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
4 days, 7 hours agoView original
4
Sorry, I didn't take any pictures of my New Year's Eve. And it's a shame, too. I look like such a perfect angel when I'm sleeping.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
4 days, 8 hours agoView original
12
*New Year's* Eve?! I thought you said *Summer's* Eve!
Uh...
Well, on the plus side, I do feel fresh as a field of wildflowers.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
4 days, 12 hours agoView original
13
@scottsimpson Poo-poo? Now you're just getting your kids to write these, aren't you.
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
4 days, 12 hours agoView original
1
@nevenmrgan A pocket watch is a stylish way to say "My other pocket contains multi-sided dice."
Moltz (John Moltz) from Tacoma, WA USA
4 days, 12 hours agoView original
19