If there were ever a stairwell in an apartment building that was perfect for attacking someone, it's mine. That's not an invitation. Creeps.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
5 hours, 30 minutes agoView original
3
A dog isn't a dog unless it barks like a dog. If it barks like a wind-up toy, it's not a dog. It's something else. Something sad and dirty.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
6 hours, 33 minutes agoView original
6
Remember the tinman found he had what he thought he lacked. Remember the tinman; go find your heart and bring it back.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
10 hours, 8 minutes agoView original
1
Huh. I seem to be losing an unusually large amount of eyelashes today. Are you people stealing my wishes?
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
12 hours, 18 minutes agoView original
4
I plan on doing many naughty things to 2009, things I was too nervous to ask 2008 to do for me.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
17 hours, 9 minutes agoView original
9
They say multitasking makes you (over there!) less able to (I should bake cupcakes!) focus on one (seven babies? for the love of) task.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
1 day, 8 hours agoView original
18
@phyllisstein If the camera's going to add all those pounds no matter what, you might as well eat the pancakes anyway.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
1 day, 8 hours agoView original
1
I'm celebrating my first day back at work in two weeks with a fabulous little tantrum.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
1 day, 9 hours agoView original
11
It's January third and I'm STILL going to the gym.
This is some sort of record.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
2 days, 10 hours agoView original
7
If your home is a reflection of your life, my life is a disaster. Someone call FEMA. Oh wait. Never mind.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
2 days, 18 hours agoView original
4
I hate Christmas commercials after Christmas almost as much as I hate campaign signs after an election. Which is to say; a lot.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
3 days, 10 hours agoView original
1
I just bought next year's holiday cards for $3/12. Here's hoping I'll actually be able to find them again 12 months from now.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
3 days, 12 hours agoView original
2
If you've already tweeted it, do you say it's been twat?
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
3 days, 19 hours agoView original
11
Kicked the cat off the bed last night.
Dreamed all night of terrifying inescapable apocalypse.
I think the cat has mastered psychic control.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
3 days, 20 hours agoView original
7
Ok it's bad, but it's the worst SINCE the Depression, not as bad AS the Depression. So what's with all the yelling?
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
4 days, 4 hours agoView original
1
So I joined a gym that costs...um...way too much. You bet I'll be there four times a week. At least for a shower or some free cotton balls.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
4 days, 5 hours agoView original
5
I love you guys, but seriously how do you handle more than ten minutes of the Stooges? How, damnit, HOW???
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
4 days, 7 hours agoView original
1
The new year has started, and I don't have a bra on. Where's my damn bra?!? Oh. Um...happy new year?
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
4 days, 18 hours agoView original
2
Ok, so I joined a gym.
Near the New Year.
I'm a walking cliché.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
5 days, 15 hours agoView original
2
@phyllisstein OR...the stress of travel makes even the very attractive look like the rest of us, and the rest of us look like warm hell.
alinasmith (alina) from Chicago, IL
5 days, 17 hours agoView original
3