Lady, if your kids don't think your smarmy baby-talk is cute, I sure as hell don't. Please give me a breaky & stop makey with the fakey.
ckwinny from Shanghai
5 hours, 55 minutes agoView original
2
"It's time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America." Sometimes, I really love Larry Flynt.
ckwinny from Shanghai
7 hours, 44 minutes agoView original
1
Sure, *now* I find the cats' Santa hats...
ckwinny from Shanghai
10 hours, 4 minutes agoView original
7
An empty box of Chips Ahoy! is a terrible thing to behold.
ckwinny from Shanghai
10 hours, 32 minutes agoView original
1
Unsurprising: Drowning dreams while unable to breathe through nose.
Surprising: The cats reading my thoughts and using me as a lifeboat.
ckwinny from Shanghai
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
5
Automatic payments don't work so well when you're unemployed and have zero dollars in all of your accounts.
ckwinny from Shanghai
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
2
Semi-Luddite: I read books at night by the light of my flashlight app.
ckwinny from Shanghai
2 days, 4 hours agoView original
2
I guess boiling water in pots and filling a bath and then taking a bath in that water kinda qualifies as getting Medieval on my own ass.
ckwinny from Shanghai
2 days, 4 hours agoView original
6
Everyone uses "Tenacious D" as a euphemism for the trots, don't they?
ckwinny from Shanghai
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
7
I have been buffeted by strong foods and I'm afraid I look like a ghost ship, sails tattered, listing around the harbor.
ckwinny from Shanghai
4 days, 23 hours agoView original
2
If I had a dollar for every buffet we've attended in the last 24 hours, I'd have three dollars. And we're *not* on a cruise.
ckwinny from Shanghai
4 days, 23 hours agoView original
5
Today's Song: "Eye of the Tiger" sung as "I Am the Asshole."
ckwinny from Shanghai
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
Chili? Delicious. Cheese. Yes! Miracle Whip. What? Yeah, spread in a thick layer between the other two. All now inedible.
ckwinny from Shanghai
1 week, 1 day agoView original
2
Wait, I can download BOOKS? OMG, It's like I've been told that I don't have to wait in another line for the rest of my life. *sob*
ckwinny from Shanghai
1 week, 6 days agoView original
1
"Wikipanion"?! Can we just... fer God's sake people, this needs to stop. We need to draw a line in the MF'ing sand. Who's with me?
ckwinny from Shanghai
1 week, 6 days agoView original
3
You put caffeine in me? Well, then, you signed away your right to control this ho.
ckwinny from Shanghai
1 week, 6 days agoView original
4
Xmas is... Greg diving to catch Moneypenny's treat-puke with newspaper before it hits the rug.
ckwinny from Shanghai
1
I sometimes play a little no-win game called "Which one of the 4 different browsers I'm using will open Facebook first?"
ckwinny from Shanghai
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
1
"I told you not to do the jazz square." "It's a crowd favorite, everyone loves a good jazz square."
ckwinny from Shanghai
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
1
The cats did not care for _The French Connection_. Slept right through it.
ckwinny from Shanghai
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
4