Though I will admit that applying a small amount of hair gel to your nose hairs can go a long way.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
23 hours, 18 minutes agoView original
1
I find that conditioning my eyebrows makes all the difference.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
23 hours, 28 minutes agoView original
3
Somewhere on the internet a guy with two thumbs is frantically trying to come up with a new Hitler joke.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
1 day, 2 hours agoView original
4
@bsheepies @abigvictory @twoname @bcompton. An orangutanery is a large enclosure where there are naked apes, they could be eating oranges.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
1
@fistsoffolly I thought Hobo Creed was just a Hobo Perl Jam rip off?
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
1 day, 15 hours agoView original
1
The thing about non sequitur comedy is that it's such a hairy oblong.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
1 day, 17 hours agoView original
4
Seriously though, having Tony as the musical guest was a classy move. #real_or_Tony's_fake_macworld?
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
1 day, 20 hours agoView original
3
I knew I should have put 4chan on my keynote bingo card. So close.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
1 day, 21 hours agoView original
2
Spelling mistake? Typo? An extra level of wit and intelligence? Cryptic clue to to the secret treasure? You'll never know... (or will you?)
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
2 days, 13 hours agoView original
1
You wouldn't believe the amount of resolutions I have saved up with this Rollover Revolutions plan!
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
2 days, 14 hours agoView original
4
The house phone rings. I wait to see if they leave a message, then use my iPhone to call the answer-phone from the comfort of the couch.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
2 days, 17 hours agoView original
3
I just got a new high-score at Dishwasher Tetris!
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
4 days, 12 hours agoView original
23
@twitter The comedic timing of Twitter updates via SMS needs some work.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
4 days, 23 hours agoView original
1
Line at the DMV is so slow. Why did I bother to brush my hair? Hot chick with messy hair is looking at me...
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
2
If anyone back in 2008 receives this transmission please move my sunglasses to the attached co-ordinates.
The future is bright.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
4
Woke up in 2009.
Our attempt to fuel the time machine with a large quantity of alchol appears to have been a complete success.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
4
There seems to be an error in the spacetime continuum; some of the ladies from this bar didn't go forward to 2009, they went back to 1989.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
5
Here I am stuck in 2008, and half the world is already in 2009...
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
1
My hands-down favourite tweet of 2008? @seanhussey's 'dog poop bags' http://is.gd/eiPy
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
1
NEW for 2009: Fox's "You're doing it wrong" reality show looks to see if the situations described in tweets really took place.
d_g_ (DG) from Florida
1 week, 1 day agoView original
4