fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
8 hours, 17 minutes agoView original
1
Shit. I screwed up the iambic pentameter of my last tweet.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
20 hours, 21 minutes agoView original
2
Don't make me live-tweet a prayer breakfast, people.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
22 hours, 50 minutes agoView original
3
"69-cent iTunes" sounds like a euphemism for something that's REALLY FUN.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
1 day, 16 hours agoView original
1
Based on my utterances, today appears to be "Make explodey sounds with your mouth day."
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
1 day, 22 hours agoView original
1
I lost twenty pounds on Necrotizing Fasciitis two years ago, before they took it off the market.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
2 days, 20 hours agoView original
1
@theogeo Michael Donahue's hair IS a glory little seen outside the tightly-controlled environment that is Ringling Brothers.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
3 days, 16 hours agoView original
1
Off to the gym. Don't everyone have a heart attack at once.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
3 days, 17 hours agoView original
1
Listening to Mae West sing "When a Man Loves a Woman." Not great, but better than Michael Bolton.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
3 days, 18 hours agoView original
1
With @sloganeerist and @franconachapman out of the way, I'm left to make a move on @jessabelle207's injured boobs all by myself. So, wha ...
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
4 days, 12 hours agoView original
1
The pizza order http://twitpic.com/z4vh
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
5 days, 12 hours agoView original
2
Whaling Porn is only as popular as it is because they get to use the phrase "Thar she blows!" more than other varieties.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
5 days, 12 hours agoView original
1
Little is as disgusting to feel in your hand as the temperature of still-cat-warm barf inside a paper towel.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
6 days, 9 hours agoView original
1
I should warn everyone in Mountain and Pacific time that the silver lamé jumpsuits in 2009 are a LITTLE snug in the crotch.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
3
I'm starting 2009 the way it OUGHT to be STARTED. Without pants.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
2
@twoname Calimari night!
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
These grapefruit-Campari granitas aren't curing my cold. Perhaps I need to increase the dosage.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
Great. Now I've got the video for "Jizz in My Pants" stuck in my head, but it's all John McCain and Sarah Palin. Why, brain? WHY?
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
Looking at this photo of a tent revival, I've decided that more rednecks would convert to Judaism if yarmulkes had visors.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
1 week, 3 days agoView original
5
I missed the game last night, but I DID have hot wings, so I figure today I'll know either Anal Fiero or Anal Turbo Fuego, depending.
fancycwabs (Randal Cooper) from Memphis, Tennessee
1 week, 4 days agoView original
3