I just found a chin hair that would have made Rapunzel green with envy. (Thanks for telling me it was there. Jerks.)
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
7 hours, 33 minutes agoView original
2
So...today I survived a 7mo's recurring meltdown. It was like storming the beach at Normandy--but with strained carrots instead of blood.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
10 hours, 56 minutes agoView original
6
BABY MELTDOWN has now reached critical mass and will sustain itself indefinitely unless there is some kind of miracle or she falls asleep.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
13 hours, 26 minutes agoView original
1
It's amazing how fast this kid can go from "full-on-possession-by-demons" to "angelic-dreamer-who-wants-to-hold-my-hand-as-she-sleeps".
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentri
16 hours, 1 minute agoView original
5
@Jessabelle207 No self-respecting hobo would trim. It's all sasquatch, all the time with hobo vaginas. It's stipulated in the Hobo Creed.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
1 day, 9 hours agoView original
1
@johnroderick You know who else thought he could go back and win WWI? Hitler.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
1
No one is more surprised than me to find that I miss working. I don't, however, miss getting up for work. No, I don't miss that one bit.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
3 days, 7 hours agoView original
3
I love my baby niece with all my heart, but if that kid gave me *another* cold...let's just say there will be less Seuss and more Proust.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
3 days, 9 hours agoView original
2
The holidays have been so confusing I can't figure out what day of the week it is. Then I remember that I'm jobless and IT DOESN"T MATTER.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
4 days, 8 hours agoView original
5
And so I am left with the question of the ages: Go for a run or start drinking? I hate that being a grownup is this confusing.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
4 days, 10 hours agoView original
2
@franconachapman What exactly would that involve? Would I have to wear pants? Also, is this a paid position? If yes, is it tax deductible?
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
4 days, 11 hours agoView original
2
Can someone please determine the football team with the least number of domestic abuse incidents? That's the team I want to root for.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
4 days, 13 hours agoView original
9
I know I'm a complete sap, but I do love a good flea flicker.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
4 days, 14 hours agoView original
1
@missamymac I feel like you are describing my diet with alarming accuracy. I mean my 1975-2008 diet--not my 2009 diet, naturally.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
5 days, 10 hours agoView original
1
"Israel Rejects Cease-Fire, but Offers Gaza Aid" sounds similar to "I'm Not Going to Stop the Face-Stabbing, but I Will Provide a BandAid"
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
11
Tonight, I shall be eating icecream with all the zealousness that a coke addict devotes to his last eight ball before rehab.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
1
I don't know what all the fuss is about. I've coveted a place in an assisted living facility since I was 16. All you can eat pudding!
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
2
He just proposed and I said no. Health insurance is not enough to rouse me from my unmarried status. Pragmatic as I am, I need more.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentric like that.)
1 week, 1 day agoView original
4
I am playing Madden while I simultaneously watch The NewsHour on PBS. That's right...2 TVs, 1 Nerd. That's how I roll.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentri
1 week, 1 day agoView original
2
I don't want to "date" anyone. I want to hang out with people until I find someone I'd like to chill with regularly. But, you know, naked.
fistsoffolly (Emily) from The Very Center (I'm egocentri
1 week, 1 day agoView original
19