@smuttysteff My wife and I frequently say we need a wife. I think it could work.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
6 hours, 5 minutes agoView original
1
When you love someone, melt cheese with them.
Because that's what the fond do.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
14 hours, 43 minutes agoView original
38
@Pistachio Never understood the appeal of peapod or others like it until I became a parent.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
16 hours, 41 minutes agoView original
1
"Masturbacon." Is that a thing?
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
17 hours, 36 minutes agoView original
25
@CcSteff Separate concrete floors, I hope!
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
18 hours, 7 minutes agoView original
1
@kspidel That'll do it to ya.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
20 hours, 31 minutes agoView original
1
♫ When a problem comes along, just reboot it. If your machine's been on too long, just reboot it. ♫
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
1 day, 9 hours agoView original
12
Whew! Broke out of that Facebook fugue state.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
1 day, 18 hours agoView original
1
Aaaahhhh! My ADHD meds just kicked in while I was on Facebook. Now I can't stop! Send help!
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
1 day, 18 hours agoView original
6
@lefauxfrog Does the Morris Day Page-A-Day calendar come with The Time on every page?
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
2 days, 12 hours agoView original
2
If a prostitute makes too much noise, does she have a whore-moan-al imbalance?
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
2 days, 14 hours agoView original
12
My opposing counterpart in the negotiations has chosen to honor the covenant of naptime. This bodes well for the peace process.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
3 days, 15 hours agoView original
11
Teaching the four-year-old "undo".
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
3 days, 17 hours agoView original
5
I don't look at it as "insomnia" so much anymore, as "me time".
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
4 days, 3 hours agoView original
9
Like Mythbusters? Follow @donttrythis.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
4 days, 5 hours agoView original
2
@shoesonwrong I think Google should buy Detroit and just turn it into one big data center.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
4 days, 5 hours agoView original
2
I am bigger than this.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
4 days, 19 hours agoView original
1
If coffee were any more awesome, it'd be illegal.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
5 days, 20 hours agoView original
5
@stevenf They should also remake Turner & Hooch that way, with Ted Turner and a bottle of moonshine.
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
6 days, 3 hours agoView original
1
@seanhussey Green Nyquil — that's the one that's made with absinthe, right?
jackholt (Jack Holt) from iPhone: -89.999991,-179.999993
6 days, 3 hours agoView original
3