I'm so tired I could eat a horse.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
8 hours, 5 minutes agoView original
7
Almost tried to get into the wrong car in the parking lot just now. If you see me on the news for auto theft, be sure to wave at me.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
9 hours, 32 minutes agoView original
5
Think if I pretend to understand why my sister's roommate is upset over a guy not returning her Facebook Friend Request I'll seem more hip?
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
10 hours, 4 minutes agoView original
7
Tweets, replies & DMs I sent are disappearing. Quick! Back to 1955 to make sure my parents get together or Twitter might vanish completely!
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
15 hours, 4 minutes agoView original
19
@SenorDiscount Don't forget to ask Woz to officiate our wedding. Tell him I'll pay him in non-stop Apple ][ discussion & booze.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
15 hours, 46 minutes agoView original
2
Victoria's Secret sent me a swimsuit catalogue. In January. Call me Marty McFly, cause I've apparently travelled 2 seasons into the future.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
15 hours, 49 minutes agoView original
2
Not sure whether dude in the car next to me this morning was staring cause he thought I was cute or cause I was listening to Eddie Money.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
20 hours, 14 minutes agoView original
12
Someone called & left a voicemail for a person named Judy. So Judy, if you're listening, Raymond wants his money & he wants it now. Thanks.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
23 hours, 7 minutes agoView original
26
The question is: how does owning the entire MST3K library _NOT_ make me irresistable to the opposite sex?
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 11 hours agoView original
15
Watching Cops is a constant reminder for me to never drive a beat-up car, hide drugs in any orifice, or talk to anyone called "Slim Jim."
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 15 hours agoView original
7
Only 8 hours of battery life? Are you kidding? Dell can offer me 2 hours of battery life AND fireworks when the battery explodes. Top THAT.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 18 hours agoView original
12
@giromide It's 4chan, though. Apparently all those years of trying to make Linux seem cool kills brain cells faster than sniffing glue.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 19 hours agoView original
1
Glad to have no classes the day of the Philnote. My random applause & exclamations of "YES!" from the back row might've been off-putting.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 20 hours agoView original
6
I'm just speculating here, but do you think the girls in this dial-a-date ad might've been cast for reasons OTHER than their acting ability?
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
2 days, 6 hours agoView original
8
I'm not able to stay up nearly as late as I used to, which makes me feel old. Apparently 24 is the new 72.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
2 days, 7 hours agoView original
5
HELP WANTED: new boyfriend. Had to dump @ECByrd for jokingly insinuating I like the New England Patriots. Taking applications immediately.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
2 days, 10 hours agoView original
2
Hey Mr. Cop in the school bookstore: while you were staring at my ass & following me around like a perv, I stole 2 pens. Constant vigilance!
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
2 days, 12 hours agoView original
13
I heard from the homeless guy who sleeps outside the restaurant across the street from 1 Infinite Loop that Jobs is a werewolf, @giromide.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
2 days, 22 hours agoView original
2
I'm trying to think up a funny tweet about me having to go back to school/work today, since I'm sure I'm the only person in this situation.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
2 days, 23 hours agoView original
10
Resolved: every time I go to the bathroom, the Vikings score. Will now force myself to pee every five minutes for the rest of the game.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
3 days, 14 hours agoView original
3