When I find out that I can have rock hard abs in only 10 minutes a day, I find that I have an increasing lack of respect for fitness models.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
6
I'll never understand why getting caught somehow makes you a cool hacker.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
13 hours, 34 minutes agoView original
10
I see the girls checking me out at the grocery store. What do you think is going to happen ladies? My bitch-ass got sent here just like you.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
16 hours, 44 minutes agoView original
13
I understand the mistake. I once "accidentally" shot a BART cop while handcuffed on my stomach. I said I was reaching for my identification.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
20 hours, 15 minutes agoView original
1
The BART police will shoot you when you're handcuffed on your stomach because we are some dangerous motherfuckers in the Bay Area. Westside!
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
20 hours, 25 minutes agoView original
2
It turns out the 'pancreatic cancer' is an internal Apple codename for heroin.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
23 hours, 28 minutes agoView original
9
My cheap-ass landlord thinks he can save money by shutting off the central heating so I'm heating the whole house using the oven.
Asshole.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
23 hours, 39 minutes agoView original
7
Is it sad that Wikipedia has more relevant and timely information than a 24 hour news channel? I think so. Not sad-cry, but sad-pathetic.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
1 day, 1 hour agoView original
4
Leon Panetta was Chief of Ops and Planning of the Intelligence Section at Fort Ord where the CIA language school was. No experience? Really?
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
1 day, 1 hour agoView original
1
I just got a SMS from my flatmate begging me for internet access. He gave up quick. I guess I won't need all of these crickets for his room.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
2
Nothing cheers me up and raises my self esteem like checking Google for how much I would cost on the white slave market.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
1 day, 15 hours agoView original
10
I am trying to find the spell in the Qur'an that allows you to make rockets out of sand and tears that can travel thirty miles and detonate.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
1 day, 17 hours agoView original
10
Some people make me want to have children out of spite for the human race.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
1 day, 17 hours agoView original
18
You call it air freshener, I call it weaponized cancer.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
15
Is it illegal to hire someone based on whether or not they conquered everyone else in the cage? Because that's my hiring criteria. No wimps.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
6
The Price Is Right is Jeopardy for poor people.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
7
Heading over to Oakland to hang out with some proper criminals.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
2 days, 18 hours agoView original
3
I wonder if anyone has ever got fake poop stuck in their butt.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
2 days, 19 hours agoView original
14
Just so we are clear, the last thing you'll see is me. The last thing you'll hear is me. The last thing you'll smell is my Darkside cookies.
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
2 days, 20 hours agoView original
4
My flatmate's begging for mercy by promising to move out mainly because I started cutting myself and chanting "I will save people from you".
DieLaughing (J. Adam Moore) from San Francisco
2 days, 21 hours agoView original
7