Printed the best of @nostrich cute barista tweets and slipped them to my cute barista this morning. #metastalking
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
3 hours, 8 minutes agoView original
6
How long can you survive just sitting around a coffee shop and sleeping with your neighbors? I'm asking for Friends.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
2 days, 2 hours agoView original
10
Too bad they don't Gitmo prisoners have Twitter. I'll bet reading some of these tweets would really brighten their day.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
2 days, 3 hours agoView original
2
Used to be, you squeezed a butt in the office and you got a slap or a date. Now you get a lawsuit. Who let the Girl Scouts in here, anyway?
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
5 days, 7 hours agoView original
7
@tj http://twitpic.com/8dlf - So, wait, my lifetime of problems understanding women could have been solved by software?
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
2
British chick in the office called me "cheeky." I suspect it may have been the assless chaps.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
5
I'll bet if Rick James were still around, he'd be pretty disappointed to learn that his beloved "Mary Jane" had become drug slang.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
Because son is in awkward teen years, I ordered school pictures of his more attractive classmate. Thanks, Beijing Olympics, for the idea.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
1 week, 5 days agoView original
9
Embarrassed about my earlier "boring Olympics" tweet. I'd mistakenly tuned into a rerun of Dance Fever.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
2 weeks, 4 days agoView original
1
Oh, hold on. Just saw some Chinese guys fisting their French horns. Some nasty getting ready to go down after all.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
2 weeks, 4 days agoView original
1
BO-RING. I'll tune in in 4 years for the XXX Olympics.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
2 weeks, 4 days agoView original
2
Tearing open those fragrance ads in a GQ I found in the office bathroom and rubbing them on myself. Because ladies love the smell of thrift.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
2 weeks, 6 days agoView original
2
Dad on phone: "Do you know where I can buy a roadrunner?" Me: "Is that a car?" Dad: "No, the bird." Me: "Should you be on some medication?"
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
4
Hearing my friends complain about how their moms call them all the time reminds me how lucky I am my mom's dead.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
8
Breakfast at the Old Tymer in Blanding, UT. The "y" in the name lends it period authenticity. That and the weevils.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
3
In Mexican Hat, Utah. Any tweeps in the area want to meet up and toss the frisbee? Or form a polygamist sect? No fat chicks.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
1
Wife says I'm sensitive. But in a whiney way, not a "cares about others" way.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
1
I keep confusing waterboarding with wakeboarding. Unrelated: Why don't my Aghani friends ever invite me to go to the lake with them?
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
1
I just toss my fast food bags out the car window. Hoping they'll catch a breeze and inspire some young Alan Ball. Because I love beauty.
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
1
Got my wife one of those new vibrators, but the little rabbit thingy keeps poking her in the nose. What am I doing wrong here?
EdTank (Ed T) from Phx
7