new career plan involves selling my eggs- anyone looking for blue-eyed children who will rock standardized tests but otherwise fail at life?
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
1 day, 15 hours agoView original
5
Mom disturbed to learn her library card application requires a parent's signature.
Zombie Grandma to the rescue AGAIN.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
It's been 7 years since I lived in Jersey full time and the night staff at Dunkin Donuts stil remembers me. I'm more than a little proud.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
1 week, 3 days agoView original
8
No, since YOU thought it would be a good idea to get Dad a globe for Christmas, YOU get to figure out how to wrap it.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
1
I forget that the word "baking" means something different when you're talking to a pothead. Related: I feel old and lame.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
1
Does anyone know how to make gingerbread men that don't come out looking like Satan's minions?
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
3
This curling ribbon can SUCK IT.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
1
So, a Jewish friend just sent me an "elf yourself" email. That's like cheating, right?
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
2 weeks, 2 days agoView original
5
Cat and Dog in the midst of their traditional holiday standoff.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
2 weeks, 2 days agoView original
1
Feeling left out of this whole #snowpocalypse thing. But it was totally drizzling here earlier. And I think my Uggs got wet. So there.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
2 weeks, 4 days agoView original
4
Parents' cocker spaniel just discover and ate a Cliff bar. Cuz what a cocker spaniel needs is extra enegy.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
2 weeks, 4 days agoView original
4
Neighbor's dog just did something horrible to the baby Jesus. #NativitySceneOMG
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
2 weeks, 6 days agoView original
6
The Frederick's of Hollywood's website should really include a seperate tab for panties "with crotches"
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
3 weeks, 1 day agoView original
2
Just watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, AKA Harry Potter and PTSD.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
3 weeks, 2 days agoView original
2
Keaneu Reeves as an alien incapable of understanding human emotions? That's got to be the casting decision of the year.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
3 weeks, 4 days agoView original
3
Spent last night at strip club where friend is working. Had to resist the urge to try to unionize the dancers.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
3 weeks, 5 days agoView original
1
Yesterday: gorgeous snow-covered landscapes. Today: creepy snowmen lingering in otherwise sunny and 65 degree weather
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
3 weeks, 5 days agoView original
2
PSA: "Assless chaps" is redundant. If they covered your ass, they'd just be pants. Now you know.
JerseyGirlinTX from Tejas
4 weeks, 1 day agoView original
4