Eating alone on a restaurant where I am the only customer. Feel as though I broke into a stranger's house for soup.
OblongRobber from Mid-America
4 hours, 11 minutes agoView original
2
My kids are talking like Hans und Franz. And they've never seen that skit. Which makes it even funnier.
OblongRobber from Mid-America
2 days, 7 hours agoView original
2
Jackie Chan's got nothing on Legolas.
OblongRobber from Mid-America
3 days, 5 hours agoView original
1
Nothing says "geek" quite like the sentence "I'm revamping my RSS feeds."
OblongRobber from Mid-America
5 days, 7 hours agoView original
1
@nonlinearmind Switched from journalism to teaching and haven't regretted it. If you can swallow the pay cut, the psych rewards are worth it
6 days, 2 hours agoView original
1
Believe me, next time, I'll pay the 200 bucks to have some other doofus scan scores of slides.
6 days, 3 hours agoView original
1
There are no resolutions in my life. And now, coffee.
6 days, 8 hours agoView original
1
Summation of 2008: iFart Mobile is the top PAID app in the iPhone App Store.
6 days, 23 hours agoView original
1
Warning: The beverage you are about to enjoy will scald the hair off your nads.
2
Not sure if it's my age or the clean Windows install, but my computer now boots faster than my average No. 1.
1
@Robsama Fonzi scheme: You hit a slot machine with your fist just right to nail the jackpot. Amirite?
1
Pro Tip: Don't start off New Year's Eve by reviewing your budget for 2009. You will be drunk well before midnight.
1
Chillin' with some Thievery Corporation. And by chillin', I mean going to bed at 9:30 to replenish my fading old-man stamina.
1
You know you've had too much to eat when you're still full in the morning.
1 week, 2 days agoView original
1
Ron Jeremy as Jesus in "The Reason for the Pleasin'."
1 week, 4 days agoView original
3
Eldest daughter: I was just watching you be amazing.
Son: I'm not amazing.
Daughter: Yes, you are, you idiot.
6
It's a Wonderful Life, Twitter version: During Xmas eve hallucinations, find the angel named Clarence, FTW.
1
By most accounts, I have far less chest and arm hair than the average male. Unfortunately, it has all been rerouted to my ears and nose.
2
"Don't go downstairs yet because I haven't finished, uh, cleaning up down there." Not the best cover for surprise present wrapping.
1
It is 31 degrees out. There is a 30 mph wind. Wind chill well below freezing. And it's raining. Mother Nature, bite me.
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
1