@KatyDidSays Next time someone tells you you smell good, reply "Thanks, it's my vag." (stolen from a comedienne I saw a few years ago)
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
4 hours, 43 minutes agoView original
1
Watched dirty jobs tonight. Wife: my bologna has a first name, it's aaahhh (makes puking sounds).
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
16 hours, 24 minutes agoView original
3
I just noticed I'm wearing black shoes with brown socks...and green pants. Who the f*ck dressed me this morning?
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
1 day, 1 hour agoView original
4
@hodgman Sachs may wake up late, but depending on the country he's in it may be early...in a different time zone.
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
1 day, 2 hours agoView original
1
@joeschmitt Past tense. MIF'd.
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
1 day, 4 hours agoView original
1
User refuses to restart her computer. Reason: She has 33 Excel spread sheets open. Response: OPEN THEM AGAIN AFTER YOU RESTART!
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
1 day, 20 hours agoView original
2
@Hello_Nurse Can't blame her. I usually get the munchies after burning leaves too.
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
1 day, 21 hours agoView original
2
@twoname Why, what (or who) did you do this time? Was it that shemale prostitute. Sorry, I TOTALLY thought that was a chick.
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
1 day, 23 hours agoView original
1
"it's called a lance. Hellooo!"
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
3 days, 2 hours agoView original
1
For some reason my dog goes bat shit crazy when we shuffle cards.
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
4 days, 13 hours agoView original
1
@twoname please don't follow me. I'm drunk and have no idea where I'm going.
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
4 days, 14 hours agoView original
2
Guy at bar: When you go in for nose surgery they pack your nose with liquid cocaine. Lady next to him: Who wants to punch me?
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
4 days, 14 hours agoView original
6
@NikkiHiss You finally snapped and knocked out an old lady, didn't you?
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
5 days, 2 hours agoView original
1
Fuck you Monday! What? Oh. Yay Friday!
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
5 days, 6 hours agoView original
11
wow, 2009 ain't so special so far, huh?
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
6 days, 13 hours agoView original
1
Aunt: it rhymes with bitch and you do it to your balls. Me: shave doesn't rhyme with bitch.
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
6 days, 15 hours agoView original
1
I didn't realize I was still hung over until I took a sip of beer and felt better.
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
6 days, 20 hours agoView original
2
All day hangover the day of NYE FTW! (I'm SO doing it wrong)
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
2
Besides the war, failing economy, unemployment rates, raised taxes, deaths in the family, and crappy weather 2008 wasn't so bad.
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
3
Anyone get the plate # of that truck last night? Judging from the way I feel right now the fucker hit me 3 or 4 times!
Robsama (Rob Villella) from Connecticut, USA
1