I like to listen to erotica audiobooks while I'm driving so my hands can be free for eating & tweeting.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
8
I would listen to 98° constantly, but the cock in my mouth would interfere with dicking around online.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
2 hours, 16 minutes agoView original
18
After tapping CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta for Surgeon Gen., experts predict Obama's choice for Chief Performance Officer will be Peter North.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
4 hours, 6 minutes agoView original
8
Oh my! The MN Senatorial election depends on absinthe ballots. No wonder there's so much confusion! Stop drunk counting! </emilylitella>
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
4 hours, 59 minutes agoView original
2
@Remiel Soon: super convenient space escalator. I'm definitely going to run down the up space escalator until space mall security stops me.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
5 hours, 51 minutes agoView original
5
You know what other Adolf committed suicide in Germany? http://tr.im/31ko
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1
Some days this year at which Twitter will borque: Inauguration, Mardi Gras, Arbor Day, May Day, Summer Solstice, Nat. Hiccup Day, π Day.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1 day, 1 hour agoView original
7
Phil Schiller keeps saying "One more thing..." He's using up Steve's tagline to intro his own at the end: "Sha-fucking-ZAM! Check it!"
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1 day, 4 hours agoView original
12
Anyone else think they're herding Macophiles into one room so Steve can use his iLifeEssence Transfer on them so he lives forever? Anyone?
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1 day, 6 hours agoView original
11
I just had an Epiphany. What about you?
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
6
It's always been my policy to never sign in to fake Twitter.com, no matter WHAT the source, but whatever, Twitter.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
1 day, 21 hours agoView original
5
Q. If two half-baked people make a cake, will it come out fully baked?
A. NO! But you can bet your wasted ass it's GOING to be eaten.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
2 days, 1 hour agoView original
20
Lazy Bluetooth Prankster: My neighbor's phone is discoverable from my phone & MacBook. What can I do with this?
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
2 days, 3 hours agoView original
1
I'm gaining Steve Jobs' weight.
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
2 days, 3 hours agoView original
11
2009 is turning out well so far: http://tr.im/gaybill
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
2 days, 4 hours agoView original
1
Every time a kiosk-dweller shoves a phone at me, I channel @JohnCleese's French knight: "I'm not very keen! I already got one, you see!!"
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
2 days, 21 hours agoView original
6
Can you say, "a giblet"? Is that a thing?
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
2 days, 22 hours agoView original
2
@badbanana I believe that's the Large iDron Collider, in the App Store for only 99¢! Find the Jobs boson: The particle that fires all others
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
2 days, 22 hours agoView original
5
RIP Steve Jobs
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
3 days, 4 hours agoView original
3
Has @Mike_FTW hacked into @Ihnatko's account? http://is.gd/evoT
smartasshat (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs) from Boldly Going Nowhere
3 days, 21 hours agoView original
1