Guy at gym: Has anyone ever told you, you look like that guy from Heroes?
Me: Yeah, you.
Then I sliced his head open and ate his brain.
TheDaveAbides (Dave) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
5 hours, 27 minutes agoView original
5
My MacWorld prediction is that Apple will finally release the "Yellow Submarine" iPod with the entire Beatles catalogue preloaded on it.
TheDaveAbides (Dave) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
1 day, 4 hours agoView original
1
I sometimes want to bang on the adjacent studio wall and shout WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PRACTICING PEP BAND MUSIC? TEACH THE KIDS REAL MUSIC!
TheDaveAbides (Dave) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
1 day, 18 hours agoView original
2
Apparently 4 major retail chains I've checked today are not selling the 2009 Far Side wall calendar.
TheDaveAbides (Dave) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
1
Today I get paid.
But I won't get laid.
That's what she said.
TheDaveAbides (Dave) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
2 days, 4 hours agoView original
1
It would be bad to drink this coffee while I practice my $3,500 flute, right? I'll chill in Starbucks for a few.
TheDaveAbides (Dave) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
1
@d_g_ Have you had to play the 2 player version, where the 2nd player has no fucking clue how to put dishes in a dishwasher?
TheDaveAbides (Dave) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
3 days, 14 hours agoView original
1
OH: You should spike-fuck me because I want to become Jewish.
TheDaveAbides (Dave) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
3 days, 19 hours agoView original
1
@ttseco Oboe Vagina is very difficult to play. You have to buzz it and finger it just right in order to get a good sound out of it.
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
6 days, 4 hours agoView original
1
OH: Push-up bras must be on sale.
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
6 days, 17 hours agoView original
1
I'm gonna make it Two Thousand MINE!
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
6 days, 20 hours agoView original
2
Happiness is a dry fart.
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
1
I didn't realize that Alec Baldwin was in Beetlejuice. Remember that movie, Beetlejuice? Yeah, Beetlejuice. [turns around] OH SHIT!
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
1 week, 2 days agoView original
2
And all you fuckers hand out gold stars like candy to anybody who's got a kid that poops.
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
2
"It looks like Chuck's takin a ride on the wild bologna pony." I heart Burgess Meredith
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
2 weeks, 3 days agoView original
1
So German scat porn gets me a few gold stars, but bukkake gets me none. I see where this party is going.
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
2 weeks, 6 days agoView original
1
Roomie is listening loudly to a local loud mouthed Republican talk radio show. It's like catching him watching German scat porn.
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
2
I think my super power is shutting off the lights Roomie leaves on and then holding a silent grudge about it.
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen
1
I'm spending the next 2.5 hours playing with my flute. That is not a euphemism.
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight el
3 weeks, 2 days agoView original
1
Patrick Warburton effing rocks as The Tick. HOW DID WE LET THIS SERIES DIE?!?!?
TheDaveAbides (Dave E) from around back, up the freight elevator, and through the kitchen
3 weeks, 4 days agoView original
2