Hottest thing I've ever read: "I want to use you like a language." Now THAT is how you kick off a morning.
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
1 hour, 58 minutes agoView original
2
ME: [confesses secret] HE: that is so... sexy isn't a tough enough word. That's like the ultimate fight championship of hot. ME: weirdo. LOL
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
14 hours, 33 minutes agoView original
2
Remember the single mom I tweeted about who needed help? In less than 4 hours OVER $9K was raised. That's the power of Twitter.
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
14 hours, 38 minutes agoView original
1
Suddenly, I have a flashback to that Sex & the City episode, "Are We Sluts?" I ask @ABartelby, "are we hashtag sluts?" #hashtagsluttery
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
15 hours, 4 minutes agoView original
1
ME: I love poets. HE: that'd make a pretty kick ass art installation, don't you think? ME: touching me through gauze? Among other things!
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
15 hours, 15 minutes agoView original
1
ME: [interrupting] tell me something sexy. HE: [without missing a beat] one by one they were invited to come touch you through the gauze.
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
15 hours, 17 minutes agoView original
1
My waiter tried to pick me up! HE: what's your name? ME: Isabelle. HE: Isabelle. Isabelle what? ME: de Merteuil. HE: what a lovely name.
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
15 hours, 33 minutes agoView original
1
@Soniamonia, wait, you're not thin and gorgeous?
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
17 hours, 44 minutes agoView original
1
Every once in a while, the situations allow me to take my own advice, proving my advice is only suitable for cold-hearted assholes.
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
1 day, 1 hour agoView original
1
Don't look at me like that, Mr. Firefox. You knew from the beginning I was a multiple tabs kind of girl.
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
2 days, 2 hours agoView original
6
Whether you observe Vanderbilt, Carreño or Debrett's, if you like to know how to avoid DOIN IT RONG on Twitter, follow @twetiquette.
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
2 days, 18 hours agoView original
1
And my husband walks in with a Happy Meal. I think he's trying to make me fat. Ha ha! Just try, buddy! #slimandgorgeous
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
2 days, 21 hours agoView original
2
My lighter is not working, it's freaking freezing and I just slammed my hand into a cactus. Good morning, world!
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
3 days, 5 hours agoView original
1
Meanwhile, in another corner of Twitter, @almightygod and @god engage in a new flame war. Must be because @TweetSatan isn't tweeting much.
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
3 days, 14 hours agoView original
1
SHE: [whisper] hello? ME: darling, are you still alive? There was a quake! SHE: I'm at the movies! Let me call you back.
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
3 days, 14 hours agoView original
1
Suddenly, @avflox jumps from her chair, takes an umbrella and begins singing "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" and dancing.
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
3 days, 14 hours agoView original
1
ME: wow, we're going to Hell for that. HE: I'll hold the table for us in Hell. I assume you'll be fashionably late. ME: LMAO!
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
4 days, 16 hours agoView original
1
Karl Lagerfeld also said the issue of size zero models was insignificant compared to the "zillions" of fat people (http://tr.im/2urk).
avflox (A.V. Flox) from California, USA
4 days, 22 hours agoView original
1