Nothing is more of a green light for sex than when a potential partner invites you up for some doxycycline.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
3 hours, 58 minutes agoView original
1
I wouldn't mind being a 40-year old virgin, if only I had a movie deal.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
9 hours, 44 minutes agoView original
1
In all honesty, this term of celibacy has run its ironic course. I'm fucking over it.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
2 days, 18 hours agoView original
10
Coming or going: never forget to wave.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
2 days, 20 hours agoView original
2
The only way I'm making it to midnight Pacific-Time is if I shoot meth or engage my Kama Sutra masturbation routine.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
6 days, 15 hours agoView original
1
I'm so clueless. I mistook Kathy Griffin for Kathy Gifford. Duh. Now I think it's just funny and not hilarious.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
6 days, 15 hours agoView original
1
Resolution: I will no longer judge people who have those Retro French-language posters in their house.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
3
Folk Music 2009: "Broadband, broadband, take me away. I'm just a hobo in the tubes."
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1
I guess its my ear hair that's killed my sex life, which is weird, cuz I had it professionally braided.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1
@gordonshumway Tumbleweeds? I have 2 guys from CSI trying to see what killed my sex life. Mistletoe belt buckle isn't working at all either.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1
Sign on empty curbside baby-crib said $10, but I swapped it for my sign that said: "FREE BABY"
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
25
Generosity is not dependent on wealth.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1 week, 1 day agoView original
5
@JBRabin "Filled With Candy" is my new headline on Match.com, or EHarmony, or PlookingPinata's.com, or....
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
@JBRabin TwitterPity. Thats awesome man. Really. Now where did I put my 9mm? Oh look, cyanide tabs.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1 week, 1 day agoView original
1
Resolution 2009: Get laid at least ONCE. That'd be a 100% increase over 2008. #goaheadargentina,cryforme
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1 week, 1 day agoView original
4
OH: "Keep abusing yourself and you'll go blind". "Can I do it 'til I need glasses?"
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1 week, 1 day agoView original
6
The Recession is finally here at my house. I'll start the belt tightening by diluting bottled water with tap.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1 week, 2 days agoView original
6
@missamymac It's almost enough to warrant a new holiday. "Monday Day". Where you get over yourself and realize it's YOU that sucks.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1 week, 2 days agoView original
1
I am _so_ dreading tomorrow and the unfailing avalanche of "monday" bitching. Aliens must think "monday" is another word for genital herpes.
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1 week, 2 days agoView original
6
StabEyeFail. Monday totally sucks the fuck-stain off the mattress of mediocrity and the goatees of female Gov't employees. Did Idothatright?
beeroux (George Zelenz) from Joshua Tree
1 week, 2 days agoView original
2