My man-crush on @gruber is kinda getting out of hand.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
6 hours, 43 minutes agoView original
2
Bringing my fancy-pants garlic-rosemary spread to a dinner party. My reputation precedes me, where by 'reputation' I mean 'breath'.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
12 hours, 28 minutes agoView original
10
Hash tags, people. #youreusingthemwrong
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
3
"Islamic panic" meets "Satanic panic" on -- where else? -- foxnews.com. Ugh. http://xrl.us/otjrk
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
1 day, 6 hours agoView original
1
Ages at the "kids' table" this Thanksgiving: 8, 14, 19, 22, 24.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
1 day, 9 hours agoView original
2
Thanks-fucking-giving, bitches.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
1 day, 9 hours agoView original
2
My sister's telling me about seeing an owl in the ravine. I keep interjecting "Oh, really?" "Ugh, I'm not making this *up*, Simon!"
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
11
@indefensible No—and believe me, I've looked.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
1
National Coming Out Day, and I didn't even leave the house.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
2 days, 2 hours agoView original
13
Having utterly failed to finish my homework, I think I'll utterly fail to clean the bathroom after utterly failing to make this funny.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
2 days, 7 hours agoView original
7
OK, Red Bull, do your thing.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
2 days, 10 hours agoView original
1
Today's the sort of crisp and cloudless that makes October a really good month to be alive in.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
2 days, 15 hours agoView original
3
Meanwhile, the handful of "Extra Strength" Tylenol I took an hour ago actually had codeine in it. Unrelated: Wheeeeeeeeeeeee.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
3 days, 10 hours agoView original
6
I see someone let the real McCain out of the enchanted chest he's been locked in all school year.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
3 days, 10 hours agoView original
3
My girlfriend is fucked out of her mind on cold medicine, quoting Zoolander, and making goat sounds. I'm going to give her some beer.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
3 days, 11 hours agoView original
18
Its (considerable) merit as a song aside, "Wizard Buys a Hat" has the greatest title of 2008, if not the entire 00's.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
3 days, 11 hours agoView original
1
I'll be interested to see the "My President, right or wrong" crowd respond to President Obama.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
3 days, 15 hours agoView original
6
Oh, attractive classmates, you are like one of those swords that has not one edge but actually two edges.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
3 days, 18 hours agoView original
11
"Pay what you want" ≠ $0.00
Unless you're a fucking freeloader.
Discuss.
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
3 days, 19 hours agoView original
4
NO IDEA WHO YALLz TALKIN BOUT AS USALLY #MISSY_WHO
cleversimon (Simon Crowley) from Edmonton, Alberta
3 days, 20 hours agoView original
4