Oh, @scottsimpson. You had me with "A guy walks into a bar..."
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from PacNW, USA
2
I snuck my recycled cup sleeves into the stack of new ones at the coffee shop and no one noticed. LOOK OUT, WORLD--I'M AN ECO-WARRIOR!!
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from PacNW, USA
14 hours, 12 minutes agoView original
4
Did you ever want to use "hippocampus" in a sentence so much that you tried contorting your original thought to make it fit? No? Just me?
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from PacNW, USA
18 hours, 58 minutes agoView original
3
The worst part about having to be your own mom is it's hard to rub your own head while you fall asleep.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from PacNW, USA
1 day, 6 hours agoView original
10
Foie gras profiteroles with a side of paddles, please.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from PacNW, USA
2 days, 7 hours agoView original
1
My "whistle a happy tune" is "repeat Christopher Guest lines to yourself." "'Ell 'o. 'Ow are 'ou?" or "I hate you and your ass face!"
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
2 days, 17 hours agoView original
3
Trying to figure out whether I'm a better contender for The Dog Whisperer or What Not to Wear. This is why I don't have a television.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
3 days, 7 hours agoView original
5
Ah, crema. The thinking man's whipped cream.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
3 days, 12 hours agoView original
1
This is really sad. I feel like the last kid waiting to be picked up at school, only in reverse.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
4 days, 9 hours agoView original
2
At the SeaTac cell phone parking lot, aka "party central."
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
4 days, 9 hours agoView original
1
I miss my dog so much, I just caught myself making the QUACK QUACK QUACK noise of his favorite toy. And I don't care who knows it.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
4 days, 11 hours agoView original
7
I eat a couple of pieces of bread and the next day, my eyes barely open. How am I going to live on hobo stew and chips come the apocalypse?
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
4 days, 13 hours agoView original
6
As an addendum to the law "Those Who Wear 'Chick Magnet' T-Shirts Aren't," I submit: "And They Can Only Be Worn Ironically by Lesbians."
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
5 days, 14 hours agoView original
4
I just saw a former swain in a Viagra commercial. #sayitaintsoho
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
6 days, 5 hours agoView original
2
Winner of this debate: FAVRD.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
6 days, 8 hours agoView original
3
Obama has to win. Otherwise I'm gonna have to run for Senate just to get this stupid Crohn's covered.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
6 days, 9 hours agoView original
1
Few things are more cheering in a strange town than a bus actually showing up when it says it will.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
1
I love people with a profound awareness of the earth and zero awareness that they banged into me with their hemp backpack three times.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
22
I don't want to look a connectivity horse in the mouth but if this Windoze flaptop sucked any harder, it'd be an off-brand Dustbuster.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
1 week, 2 days agoView original
3
It's kind of scary how little it takes to make me happy. As in "dinner", "watching my stories", "you might be a redneck if..." little.
communicatrix (Colleen Wainwright) from Los Angeles, CA, USA
1 week, 3 days agoView original
2