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@Tony_D Absolutely, and we need to do it now, more than - ehh, before.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

14 hours, 1 minute agoView original

tehawesomecrispycracka 2

Odd. The people that hang around outside the public library don't _look_ literate.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

17 hours, 7 minutes agoView original

ivegotzoomssmartgoatPorto_RockspdracerxAprilSTLCcSteffglessnerrabidbadgerzoloraphyllissteineoportobadkitty_crispycrackagravelruntrelvixjoeschmidt 16

@crispycracka I really hope you're talking about a Goatse chia pet. Can we just have a Goatse-EVERYTHING? Somebody get on that.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

17 hours, 36 minutes agoView original

youhas 1

@Jessabelle207 How inappropriate I make a joke about peeing when you have a kidney stone. Hope everything comes out... ok. Damn. Yet again.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

18 hours, 22 minutes agoView original

ivegotzoomsPorto_RockAprilSTLkariedwardsglessnermaritzavtehawesomeclapifyoulikemebadkitty_rongillmore 10

Why I love living alone: I can pee in the sink without anyone coming home and asking me why I'm peeing in the sink.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

21 hours, 45 minutes agoView original

CcSteffmaritzavglessnerFrSpikeitsbynnereelcrispycrackatehawesomethedayhascomeFakeweilertdavenportHellaKatyDidSaysbadkitty_AprilSTLjonathaneunicebeerouxtwonameCosaMostrogravelrunwhlteXbreadvmarinellishustatrelvix 23

There's a 95.756% probability that I will fail this Probability and Statistics class. ...I think.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

1 day, 10 hours agoView original

riebschlagersunshynegrllphyllissteintoldorknowntrelvixemilyelisabethAprilSTLcrispycrackatwinchrabidbadgerNickiHissHoityPolloijamietiejoeschmidtkellydealwondawomynpotjie88michaelcalifmomKatyDidSaysHellakurtw 22

Secret Shame #54: I'm a math major and I still freak the fuck out when I see a lambda. ...λ Ahhh! Get that godless monstrosity away from me!

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

1 day, 11 hours agoView original

bcomptonspdracerxcrispycrackatwinchHoityPolloitehawesomeeyeteegeedanjlcECByrd 9

I guess I forgot to tell this week that I wasn't into scat porn, because it just keeps shitting all over me.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

1 day, 11 hours agoView original

phyllissteinivegotzoomsPorto_RocktrelvixtehawesomesloganeeristBalut 7

Governor: "Please don't bring your teenager to Nebraska."
He's right ya know. It's terribly boring here.
http://tinyurl.com/63559f

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

1 day, 17 hours agoView original

ivegotzooms 1

Stupid E*TRADE baby wouldn't look so cool if he tried trading on the phone. Voice recognition: "I heard: 'ga ga boo boo.' Is this correct?"

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

1 day, 17 hours agoView original

toldorknownemilyelisabethsunshynegrllcrispycrackahomerdash 5

@lindstifa Ssshhhhh! She doesn't have to kno- Oh, hey baby! I was just- No, I can explain! Aw, c'mon sweetie, don't be like that!

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

2 days, 7 hours agoView original

bigrballsthanu 1

God damnit Google. I searched for "Goatse" because I wanna see a dude's lower intestine. Now turn your moderate safe search off!

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

2 days, 8 hours agoView original

AprilSTLCcSteffECByrd 3

Who wants to bet me I can't drink this whole case of New Castle tonight? A-anyone? C'mon, someone! Fine. I'll drink it without a bet...

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

2 days, 10 hours agoView original

rongillmorecrispycrackatrelvixKatyDidSays 4

I just choked on my coffee. Next up: stapling my hand to my head.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

2 days, 20 hours agoView original

kariedwardskrabigailKatyDidSaysInsoOutsoawryonesunshynegrllbadkitty_itsbynnereeltdavenportvmarinellirongillmorefrageelayadtothebone 13

@twoname http://twitpic.com/mgkv - Apparently, the message Cottonelle wants to portray is, YOU ARE STARING AT A DOG'S WEINER.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

3 days, 8 hours agoView original

homerdashjonathaneunicehotheadredtdavenport 4

I just want to juxtapose something for you. Hotpocket:Fleshlight. You do the rest.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

3 days, 13 hours agoView original

ivegotzoomsPorto_RocknickJessabelle207beerouxtrelvixjonathaneunicerabidbadgertwonametexburgherCcSteffmhgloverKalliSeoulBrothercalifmom 15

Today is one of those days where if I went home to find a hit squad waiting for me, I'd help them lay out the plastic.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

3 days, 14 hours agoView original

AprilSTLbadkitty_kariedwardsivegotzoomsPorto_RockBalutfistsoffollyCaryRNnictatejoeschmidttdavenportjonathaneuniceFrSpikevmarinelliKatyDidSayskurtw 16

Just paid $737 for late fees from the summer semester that I didn't know I had. #november_surprise

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

3 days, 15 hours agoView original

InsoOutsoivegotzooms 2

Acoustic, a cappella, whatever. I reject your etymology and substitute my own.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

3 days, 16 hours agoView original

awryonewhlteXbreadivegotzoomsKatyDidSayssloganeeristCcSteffcrispycracka 7

It's a RATM kinda day, but I have no MP3 player. Fuck it, I'm doin' this shit acoustic! Bow wah-wow wah-wo- WHAT? Oh, library, right.

detweiler (Detweiler, Brian) from Omaha, NE

3 days, 17 hours agoView original

katkuhlwhlteXbreadbcomptonPorto_Rocktehawesomeriebschlagerdrewmivegotzoomsabigvictory 9

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