Complaining about people who complain about Chrsitmas coming earlier every year comes earlier and earlier every year.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
6 days, 14 hours agoView original
1
After working at a tanning salon, everything pales in comparison.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1 week, 2 days agoView original
2
I don't understand what proctologists do, but I plan to get to the bottom of it.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1 week, 2 days agoView original
2
Expecting people you follow to follow you back presumes that you're as interesting as the people you find interesting.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1 week, 3 days agoView original
2
I may be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure the healthiest product made from corn . . . is corn.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1 week, 6 days agoView original
1
My wife has discovered a major side-effect to Lasik surgery: she lost her crying-while-chopping-onions immunity when she lost the contacts.
edkohler (Ed Hussein Kohler) from Minneapolis
2 weeks, 5 days agoView original
1
@goose_runner says that Michael Phelps is taken as a Halloween costume so I'm (easily) switching to Chris Farley dressed up as Phelps.
edkohler (Ed Hussein Kohler) from Minneapolis
2 weeks, 6 days agoView original
1
Pro tip for college students: If you're buying Busch Light by the case, you're going to get carded.
edkohler (Ed Hussein Kohler) from Minneapolis
3 weeks, 5 days agoView original
1
I've been in a mall Sprint store with my wife for so long, I'm considering walking over to Claire's to get my ears pierced. It's free.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1
Panhandlers should put their PayPal addresses on their cardboard signs.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1
My right to privacy is the only thing keeping the fashion police from breaking through the front door of my house right now.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
2
95% of American's would love to face the tax burden Joe the Plumber faces. A tax break, better education and healthcare may get them there.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1
An SFO investment firm called and told me I'm an "accredited investor" and wants to get me in on deals. I'm eating leftover frozen pizza.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1
I'm now driving neck and neck with the redneck. Thumping NPR. Dropping knowledge.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1
Customer: "Those white balls up there: what are they?"
Red Burrito girl: "Sour cream, mam."
Who knew quesadilla shopping was so hard?
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1
Obama was wrong about rust-belt bitterness. Bitter people either leave or build up a tolerace to their circumstances.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world who thinks Hilton Hotels could do a better job with their toilet paper folding.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1
Palin wins if she pulls out a tear jerker story concluding with a display of a tribute ankle bracelet. Biden can't touch that.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
2
The fundamentals of our ecomony will remain strong until bands start laying off the cowbell players. Then we're all screwed.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
1
I'm not an accountant, but I play one on the Internet every time a site asks me for my occupation before I can see their site's content.
edkohler (Ed Kohler) from Minneapolis
2