to demonstrate how infrequently i blow dry my hair for work: my straight haired reflection startled me just now.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
1 hour, 32 minutes agoView original
2
i hate self-starting videos. i hate them more than i love bendy straws.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
6
the harsh truth is, i only do about an hour of real work most days.
i need to make a big change in 09. thank god the economy is so good.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
3 hours, 26 minutes agoView original
3
what's worse than phoning it in? because i am SO doing that right now.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
4 hours, 13 minutes agoView original
3
today's dietary experiment: is the nausea because i'm hungry or a warning not to eat?
let's find out!
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
5 hours, 24 minutes agoView original
8
asking people if they've ever heard of pandora pretty much lets me know that you're still using a typewriter.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
5 hours, 51 minutes agoView original
3
Based on how loud this guy snores on the train, I'm surprised his wife hasn't smothered him.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
7 hours, 30 minutes agoView original
3
apparently i will bedazzle any tweet with a star if it mentions bedazzlers and vaginas.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
18 hours, 25 minutes agoView original
4
Now that I've changed my plans, this better be the ice storm of the motherfucking century.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
21 hours, 20 minutes agoView original
2
thursday ate my tuesday. the future was hungry.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
22 hours, 26 minutes agoView original
3
best error message ever:
"No suitable nodes are available to serve your request."
there's an innuendo in there, i just know it.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
1 day, 3 hours agoView original
12
After sampling a smattering of asian desserts tonight, I now understand why americanized chinese food comes with fortune cookies.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
1 day, 15 hours agoView original
4
This sexy scottish singer is making me swoon.
(This tweet was made possible by the letter s)
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
1 day, 20 hours agoView original
4
i really like having someone's undivided attention.
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
1 day, 21 hours agoView original
2
i get a strange amount of satisfaction being able to fix computer-y problems on my on. by strange i mean a fucking lot.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
1 day, 22 hours agoView original
2
@Rayke i prefer the term highly functioning alcoholic.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
1
resolution 2 - be nicer in real life. you are all on notice to expect way bitchier tweets from now on.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
2 days, 1 hour agoView original
3
resolution 1 - be more spontaneous. the universe is really taking this to heart by flipping everything on it's ass.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
2 days, 1 hour agoView original
2
it would be embarrassing to admit that i am taking hearing a mariah carey song as a good omen for the week.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
2 days, 1 hour agoView original
1
Reality TV pitch: Double Dare style sliming of corrupt politicians.
eoporto (Elizabeth Oporto) from New York
2 days, 14 hours agoView original
1