I don't care if it's the CEO's balls, if it's used and from IKEA, you have no business charging $200 for it on Craigslist.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
18 hours, 29 minutes agoView original
7
Just got the call - new pet bird is ready to come home!
OK you've got me; I'm being euphemistic.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
19 hours, 7 minutes agoView original
1
Him: "We got new cell phones for work. They're rather . . . plain."
Me: "Dude. That is the Chrysler K Car of cell phones."
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
22 hours, 20 minutes agoView original
2
That last tweet was not directed at the mommybloggers; don't want to be charged with assault or anything.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
1 day, 1 hour agoView original
1
ANY day I can make a "Baby Jesus Butt Plug" reference is a pretty damned good day.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
21
@detweiler I'll bet he has one damned fancy belt. Did you get the Baby Jesus Butt Plug I sent you? They custom gift wrap those, you know.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
3
"Guess what, Mom? I had da BEST dream of my WHOLE LIFE!"
"Great, buddy. What was it about?"
"I CAN'T REMEMBER!"
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
10
OH: "I'm not calling you paperclip man! I'm calling you stupidman!"
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
1
"Mom! Look at this something I made that's artistical."
I love this parenting gig.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
4
Leaving for coffee with some BROADS I know. Good thing I'm wearing pants, huh? (this time)
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
1 day, 23 hours agoView original
4
Who do I have to blow to make Explore on flickr? Just what I need; another fracking leaderboard by which to measure my meager self-worth.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
2 days, 12 hours agoView original
1
Be to the dazz to the motherfucking ler.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
2 days, 12 hours agoView original
15
I also have no memory of this, but about 6 years ago I told Jackson Toby the tram engine "makes rectangle poops." Because he's rectangular.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
2 days, 14 hours agoView original
2
Holy shit you guys, it's Taco Tuesday! Make of that whatever you wish; it's totally excellent either way.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
2 days, 14 hours agoView original
1
I swear I must be the least competent PTO leader ever. Next time I'll dance around in my underwear; just as effective but more fun for me.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
3 days, 12 hours agoView original
4
@eolai There's not enough bandwidth to contain my awesomeness.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
3 days, 20 hours agoView original
2
@abigvictory Maybe they'll call the cops if I try to smother you beneath my awesome grassy knoll.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
3 days, 20 hours agoView original
1
Nobody's gonna call the cops on me for dancing around in my underwear, are they?
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
3 days, 20 hours agoView original
2
Part of me misses the kids when they return to school. The rest of me gets the urge to dance around to the Beastie Boys in my underwear.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
3 days, 23 hours agoView original
14
Some decent used furniture finds are often beige or white. I have three young sons who would regard such a purchase as a personal challenge.
frageelay from Midwestern U.S.
4 days, 15 hours agoView original
5