It looks like Marilyn Manson threw up outside the movie theater. Small city goth is the saddest goth in the world.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
12 hours, 40 minutes agoView original
15
I'm rarely offended, but NBC's Tornado Thursday is sad since 25 people from my town died in one. How about Wildfire Wed. or Melanoma Monday?
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
15 hours, 14 minutes agoView original
4
I'm trying to make my kid a quick healthy meal, but he's going to polish off the bag of Funyuns by the time I peel open all his Starburst.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
15 hours, 28 minutes agoView original
25
My 63-yr-old mom bought a plus-size Ed Hardy shirt to go with her leather pants. It says "Love Kills Slowly" which is so very, very true.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
8
@tallredamanda Warm & vibrating would definitely be worth the copay.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
2 days, 14 hours agoView original
1
The nurse violated me with an ultrasound wand & said, "They should invent one that--" Apparently the answer was "warms up" & not "vibrates."
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
2 days, 14 hours agoView original
24
You don't know fun til you've given a preschooler a urine test. I was finally able to fill his cup after wringing the pee from my hair.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
3 days, 11 hours agoView original
15
My son said, "I'm so hungry, I could eat some whores!" I hope he meant "a horse" because whores taste icky & don't come with toys he'd like.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
3 days, 14 hours agoView original
24
I wisely did not use old chocolate penis as cake decoration, but now the dog found it and ate the balls. As usual, I get the shaft.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
4 days, 9 hours agoView original
32
My husband was blushing so I hoped the bulge in his pants meant he was happy to see me, but it was a can of cake frosting. Marriage FTW.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
4 days, 13 hours agoView original
12
Too much partying gave my son the runs - he exited the bathroom & said, "Now that I'm 5, my toots smell like the zoo & my poop is slippery."
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
5 days, 8 hours agoView original
12
The only thing more exhausting than childbirth is a child's birthday party and you don't even get the good drugs.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
5 days, 11 hours agoView original
17
My son is 5 today & his birthday cake needs some Y chromosome fast. My choices are a fighter jet, a hot wheel or chocolate penis sprinkles.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
5 days, 18 hours agoView original
16
My son must have discovered South Park because he ran in scared & asking about torn body parts, cheesy poofs & what a douche does.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
6 days, 11 hours agoView original
9
Am baking my son a pink birthday cake since he wants strawberry. Will top it with bad ass sprinkles to save his preschool street cred.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
6 days, 16 hours agoView original
14
Showtime's creating a show about a gay superhero. It's called "Prop Eight is Enough."
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
6 days, 18 hours agoView original
7
I'd tell my ex to go fly a kite, but he has problems keeping things up.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
52
My 4 yo said he didn't like Obama's color. I freaked out & he said, "Black ties don't look as good as red. What are YOU talking about?"
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
7
The new XM radio dumped my favorite station & moved my show tunes--I mean my punk rock. The sun will come out tomorrow, my ass.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
6
My son said, "I get smarter all the time!"
I agreed.
Then he said, "But you're as smart as you'll ever be, right?"
Yes, but he can suck it.
hoosiergirl from evansville, indiana
25