Not sure which feature of my beard I enjoy more: it's ability to make small children cry or the fact that it can hold 60GBs of Music.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
14 hours, 18 minutes agoView original
21
@hotheadred @krabigail Maybe if you're really nice to @textism he'll convince the trappist monks that oversee @favrd to reassemble the links
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
1 day, 8 hours agoView original
2
@hotheadred @favrd stopped showing one's entire history a month or so ago. It now only shows last 30 days.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
1 day, 8 hours agoView original
1
The 49 flavor assortment jar of Jelly Bellys is the candy equivalent of Russian Roulette.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
8
It's fitting that the last three days of the work week are WTF.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
1 day, 23 hours agoView original
46
In a joint statement saying their habit is sending them to an early grave, both Gravy & Butter have announced they are giving up Paula Deen.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
5
You know you've been using twitter a long time when you remember it being this slow just because it was a Monday.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
2 days, 18 hours agoView original
2
Looking forward to GarageBand '09, especially the advanced lesson "How to drink like a rockstar and avoid later drowning in your own vomit".
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
2 days, 20 hours agoView original
5
iPhoto's new face recognition software will be powerless against my beard once it gains sentience.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
2 days, 20 hours agoView original
2
Google finally releases a Mac version of Picasa only to have the new iPhoto render it comparable to Microsoft Bob the next day.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
2 days, 20 hours agoView original
1
Curious to see how the markets react when Phil Schiller introduces the world to Apple's new line of mock aloha turtlenecks.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
2 days, 21 hours agoView original
8
A good sign Steve Jobs is done at Apple is when he announces the new iQuit, available in 8 vibrant chromatic colors.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
3 days, 13 hours agoView original
3
Steve Jobs' hormonal imbalance explains why all the messages I've received via someone's iPhone have said "Happy New Tear!"
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
3 days, 16 hours agoView original
4
Hormonal imbalance? Psshaw.
Steve Jobs doesn't want to admit he took things a bit too far thinking the 'i' in iPhone stands for ingestible.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
3 days, 18 hours agoView original
3
Omaha's Family Fun Center should change it's name to the "Center for Advanced Dance Dance Revolution Studies".
People are still doing that.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
4 days, 17 hours agoView original
9
Preparing the cockpunch express for a raid on the city of Lincoln tomorrow. Note to self: make sure smallpox vaccinations are up to date.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
6 days, 11 hours agoView original
2
If 2008 was a coffee, it would've been a big pot of Kopi Luwak. Chewed up, shat out and ultimately costing us more than we'll ever realize.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
6 days, 11 hours agoView original
11
A remake of "Weekend at Bernie's" is scheduled to begin production in 2009, with Joe Paterno being tapped to play the role of Bernie Lomax.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
1
Wasn't it a year ago now we were partying & toasting to 2008? If 2009 tries to pull the same shit 2008 did, I say we shank it in the showers
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
1 week, 1 day agoView original
6
The reason Ryan Seacrest & Carson Daly host New Years Eve at Times Square? It's good to have a couple tools handy that work well with balls.
joeschmidt (joe schmidt) from omaha, ne
1 week, 1 day agoView original
7