@SenorDiscount Just don't be surprised if you're the butt of all my jokes. See what I did there? "Butt?" I kill me!
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
6 hours, 45 minutes agoView original
1
So many iPhone Twitter apps to choose from. I should probably just carry my Top 5 Tweeple around in my pocket all day instead. Volunteers?
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
7 hours, 19 minutes agoView original
1
Listening to "In the Air Tonight" & doing anything productive is a lesson in futility. You'll be needed for the air drum solo every time.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
10 hours, 24 minutes agoView original
11
Damn. You guys just gave me cock three times in a row. Thank you. ... What? No.. NO! I MEANT FAVRD. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
12 hours, 51 minutes agoView original
8
I should've been born 15 years earlier than I was. My teenaged angst & love for New Wave music would've put even Molly Ringwald to shame.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
13 hours, 26 minutes agoView original
5
@haavoc Totally. I hate it when they *assume* I'm going to love them just cause they lock me in a trunk and make keepsakes out of my hair.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
14 hours, 41 minutes agoView original
5
Guys... It happened. I *did* get an A on that paper. I don't know which one of you is plotting, but I'm on to you, and I WILL be Prom Queen.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
14 hours, 53 minutes agoView original
1
I'm home alone. There is a spider on the floor, blocking my way out of my room. I'd always imagined a far more spectacular death than this..
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
16 hours, 44 minutes agoView original
27
Got email about rape on campus & now I'm scared. I already pity the poor guy who opens the door for me & I unleash a full can of mace on him
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
17 hours, 45 minutes agoView original
2
Lessons Learned from Daytime TV: All of life's problems can be solved by a midget, a paternity test or throwing a chair at someone.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
18 hours, 58 minutes agoView original
8
So.. if you order this Cash Flow business thing off TV, do you automatically become an old bald dude surrounded by chicks in bikinis, too?
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
20 hours, 17 minutes agoView original
3
@detweiler How're you progressing w/ trying to put the moves on @crispycracka? Oh wait, @crispycracka follows me.. Shit dude, you're fucked.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 7 hours agoView original
1
If @Moltz asks me to the prom within the next hour, please guys, for the love of all that is good and holy RUN LIKE FUCKING HELL.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
5
I'll only manage an A on that paper as part of a cruel, cruel joke. I'm preparing for the pigs blood to get dumped on my head any second.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
3
You know what? Screw it, I'm just gonna steal @Kalli's icon. But photoshop in a sensible hat, boobs and a gun, so you can tell us apart.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
4
@pdxgrrrl How about an Ewok with boobs wearing a sensible hat.. with a GUN?
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
1
Considering revamping my avatar to make it more eye-catching. I'm leaning toward something involving an Ewok. Everyone loves Ewoks, right?
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 13 hours agoView original
2
Silly Yankees. Just cause I have a Southern drawl doesn't mean you have to speak slower OR louder to me. I UNDERSTAND YOU JUST FINE. OH-KAY?
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 15 hours agoView original
4
She Who Won't Shut Up is giving a presentation Monday. My reason for not coming: I was up late running from Libyans at the Twin Pines Mall.
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 16 hours agoView original
10
@joeschmitt There are *so* many plumber jokes you could've used! "I'm not a plumber, are you? Cause I've got a pipe that needs worked on..."
kariedwards (Kari Edwards) from Chattanooga, Tennessee
1 day, 16 hours agoView original
1