For the entire duration of my birthday, I wish to communicate exclusively by means of an Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
9 hours, 35 minutes agoView original
3
ProTip: when teaching Chemistry students how to name ionic compounds, keep Bromine in your back pocket for whenever you need cheap lulz.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
10 hours, 19 minutes agoView original
1
dm @911 FUCKING HELP I ate a golden retriever of pizza and all color is draining from my vision and wait shit this isn't my cell phone
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
1 day, 7 hours agoView original
3
...I'm mostly surprised that 900,000 pounds of Lean Cuisine *exist*.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
2 days, 10 hours agoView original
3
...if anyone in a position to terminate my employment saw what I had for breakfast...
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
6 days, 15 hours agoView original
3
Really quite tired of the flax-seed-or-mouse-turd game. Looks like I'm just not cut out for this whole "tolerating pestilence" thing.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
1 week, 2 days agoView original
2
Alala, alala / cascading style sheet
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
1 week, 3 days agoView original
2
It's been a successful night with the mousetraps. And THAT, my friends, is a very mixed blessing. Commence Howard Hughes-style handwashing!
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
1 week, 4 days agoView original
1
Non-confession: I keep every Cloodle and Sens-O-Sketch sheet my friends have drawn in my game of Cranium, for obvious reasons.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
1 week, 5 days agoView original
4
Every day I don't hear about something Bush is fucking up, I worry about what he's secretly fucking up. Anyone seen that guy recently?
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
11
Loving all these journalists finding themselves tongue-tied and overcome. This is an undeniably *human* moment; professionalism can wait.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
2 weeks, 2 days agoView original
3
...this is probably the happiest I will ever be to hear gunshots.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
2 weeks, 2 days agoView original
4
Around here in Bed-Stuy, you wouldn't even know the other guy's NAME.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
2 weeks, 2 days agoView original
1
Guys, heads up: SOMEONE YOU KNOW accidentally joined the Independence Party, thinking HE OR SHE was registering Independent. Related: :( :(
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
2 weeks, 4 days agoView original
2
Free advice for cartoonists for the New Yorker: don't let me find out you're a cartoonist for the New Yorker.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
1
A student told me today that they're considering being *me* for Halloween; 5 parts flattering, 2 parts CALL THE POLICE.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
8
Has Pepsi changed "Diet Caffeine-Free Pepsi" to "Why Fucking Bother Cola" yet?
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
3 weeks, 2 days agoView original
13
In the coming months and years, I'll recall this October as a time of growth, maturation, and intense, d-bag facial hair.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
1
Successfully stalked, cornered, and YAAHHH-TRICK-YAAAAHHH-ed the apartment mouse. Ladies, ladies, please: one at a time.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
6
Successfully stalked, cornered, and YAAHHH-TRICK-YAAAAHHH-ed the apartment mouse. Ladies, ladies, please: one a time.
phylhrmnix (Aziz) from 11233
1