Grumpy Phrase Dearth Crisis averted. @johnmoe allowed me (and will allow you) to borrow his catchphrase, here: http://is.gd/8kT8
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
12 hours, 3 minutes agoView original
1
Why do we have the best ICBMs but the worst stationery aisles? Nobody's going to invade a country whose #1 notebook is the Mead Five Star®.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
14 hours, 24 minutes agoView original
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Stossel has "gimme a break!", @johnmoe has "I'm on to you," @youngamerican has "Hang it up!". All the good grumpy catchphrases are taken.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
15 hours, 15 minutes agoView original
3
Nothing on change.gov yet about my proposed legislation to require background checks and a 7-day waiting period to purchase bike shorts.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
15 hours, 50 minutes agoView original
34
Jury's out on their new slogan: "The Los Altos Town Library: A Great Place To Take a Crap and Check Your Email. Also, DVDs!"
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
15 hours, 54 minutes agoView original
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Dollar: (n.), A basic unit of currency. ORIGIN: from the Spanish "dolor," meaning "pain."
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
1 day, 4 hours agoView original
17
Stock: (n.), An ownership share in a company. ORIGIN: the medieval instrument of public humiliation and torture.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
1 day, 4 hours agoView original
17
Look, Other Driver, I can take the high road and admit it was my mistake. Can't you see that I'm apologetically waving my middle finger?
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
1 day, 4 hours agoView original
25
My son is drawing a picture of a car: two wheels, a CD player, and air conditioning.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
1 day, 7 hours agoView original
7
My favorite Obama-themed reggae song is the one by Cocoa Tea. It's the smoothest.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
2
Podcasts (iTunes links): RadioLab Season Five premiere: http://is.gd/80hS. Also, Obama's weekly address: http://is.gd/7Xq3
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
2 days, 14 hours agoView original
2
Hmm, that didn't feel like five servings of cookies.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
3 days, 8 hours agoView original
42
@AmyJane Oooh maybe we can start some sort of joint compound thing? Not a "cult," per se, more like a community of the rabidly like-minded.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
3 days, 12 hours agoView original
6
The new "Call of Duty"s hyperrealistic blood spatter is pretty sweet, but the characters' liberal use of the F-word is putting me off.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
3 days, 14 hours agoView original
9
Most parents give up at 18 mos., but Baby Memories books have pages for later milestones: p. 24: "first pubes"; p. 76: "first foreclosure."
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
4 days, 11 hours agoView original
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ERRATUM: The correct plural form is "Mikes & Ike."
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
5 days, 7 hours agoView original
13
My Son's Recession Tip #1: Why waste quarters on the candy machines when there are plenty of good Mike & Ikes on the ground?
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
5 days, 11 hours agoView original
24
The writing in the fake New York Times is so poor. And uninteresting. It's like they built a beautiful rocket to send dog shit to the moon.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
23
Hmm, something's wrong. My expensive new camera didn't come pre-loaded with all kinds of awesome pictures I've taken.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
17
To honor certain archaic societies, our house features a menstrual hut. It's shaped like a Prius and I can cry there whenever I want.
scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) from iPhone: 37.381515,-122.115814
1 week, 1 day agoView original
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