Dammit, Merlin's on a Twitter break! Can someone tell me if there was an earthquake?
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
1 day, 6 hours agoView original
2
@KaraLaFleur Cats stay cool purely by force of their own spite for human beings. It's like photosynthesis, except hate instead of sunlight.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
1 day, 11 hours agoView original
1
When someone holds the door for you, say "Thank you." When someone holds the door for you in Philly, grunt.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
1 day, 13 hours agoView original
1
Happy fashion week to my wealthy friends! And to everyone else, may this humble weekend offer a momentary respite from the pain of living.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
1 day, 21 hours agoView original
2
I hope I'm still twittering when I'm a lawyer. "BRB approaching bench. Judge looks pissed."
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
2 days, 8 hours agoView original
11
Oh, right. My girlfriend's phone number isn't "40404." On the plus side, that could have been WAY more awkward.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
7
Prof.: "We're doing things in reverse today. Are you familiar with Merlin?" (my ears perk up) "The wizard, who aged in reverse?" (... oh.)
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
2 days, 11 hours agoView original
3
Hey, you guys want to hear my science ideas? They're a lot about owls.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
2 days, 12 hours agoView original
4
Weight one month ago: 138. Today: 129. Crucial Factor: being too broke to buy desserts.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
2 days, 16 hours agoView original
1
Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin / Night and day, it's Sarah Palin / Make the fire, fix the breakfast / wash the dishes, do the mopping ...
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
2 days, 17 hours agoView original
3
Oh, awesome! Finally a law school class about the Matrix! ... oh, the Matrix of Subsidy Alternatives. Huh. That's worse than Reloaded.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
2 days, 19 hours agoView original
4
I love to see stuff with personality that emphasizes unity and our freedom to be ourselves. Wha? ... Son of Rambow. What are you watching?
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
3 days, 7 hours agoView original
4
My bank asks, "What are your 6 most important documents?" They're probably threatening to shred them if I don't get a positive balance soon.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
3 days, 10 hours agoView original
3
@scottsimpson: We had our draft last week, but my team's a little thin and I need to make some pickups. Who do you like at left bongsman?
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
3 days, 11 hours agoView original
4
I should be able to pick you out by your obnoxiously huge sunglasses. When everyone is wearing them, that defeats the purpose.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
3 days, 19 hours agoView original
2
Someone please start a site for non-morning-people, rating foods by how tolerable they are to choke down before you're fully awake.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
3 days, 20 hours agoView original
5
The Chrome terms of service include provisions about bass-heavy music at high volumes, and the average amplitude of your ride's "bounce."
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
4 days, 8 hours agoView original
7
@lonelysandwich I might go with some kind of rainbow unicorn by Lisa Frank.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
4 days, 11 hours agoView original
2
David Byrne turned me down for an interview? Well, I don't care. It's not like he fronted the Talking Heads or ... wait. Shit.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
4 days, 13 hours agoView original
2
For the record, @johnmoe beat me to the atrocious "Palin comparison" pun by a full hour. Meaning all the deaths it caused are on his hands.
strutting (Jay Hathaway) from Philadelphia, PA
4 days, 17 hours agoView original
1