Sweetie just told me he sent a fax today, then worried because he had faxed the only copy & didn't have one left for his file.... I worry.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
23 hours, 2 minutes agoView original
10
@frageelay I had to star both of your Baby Jesus Butt Plug tweets. The power of Christ compelled me.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
23 hours, 12 minutes agoView original
2
You know you're out of shape when you throw your back out just rolling your eyes.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
1 day, 6 hours agoView original
21
I've had my nose to the grindstone all day. Fucking blood everywhere.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
1 day, 6 hours agoView original
21
The mare is horny today, flirting with all the males. Unfortunately for her, they're on the other side of the fence. And gelded. #nosextoday
tdavenport from Right where you left me
1 day, 9 hours agoView original
4
♫ Good morning, Tweeples. ♪ What shall we fuck up today?
tdavenport from Right where you left me
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
6
Woke up in a bit of a cranky mood this morning. Trying to work out of it, but the cat shitting on the floor just now isn't helping.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
2 days, 11 hours agoView original
3
@sloganeerist Your nunchuck joke made me drop my join... I mean, made me Laugh Out Loud, as the youngsters say. Bet your nuts'd hurt too.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
2 days, 23 hours agoView original
2
@communicatrix Too motherfucking, cocksuckingly funny!
tdavenport from Right where you left me
3 days, 4 hours agoView original
1
@EntropyAS Awww, that's not tru.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
tdavenport from Right where you left me
3 days, 8 hours agoView original
1
Someone must have just fed the animals; I can see the pig's tail joyfully swinging, a porcine metronome keeping the beat to breakfast.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
3 days, 10 hours agoView original
5
Having to work last week doesn't mean I don't sympathize with you who are just now going back after holiday.... Not falling for it, are you?
tdavenport from Right where you left me
3 days, 11 hours agoView original
5
And by "you all" of course I mean me.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
3 days, 12 hours agoView original
1
I will no longer be tweeting about chocolate or cookies or pie or things of that ilk. You all are looking a little pudgy after the holidays.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
3 days, 12 hours agoView original
4
Early to bed so I won't be a raging bitch at 6:30 in the morning.
Well, there's always hope anyway.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
3 days, 22 hours agoView original
1
"My nose keeps getting in the way and I can't bite you. I don't have a Pez head you know." Then the belching ensued. Welcome to my world.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
3 days, 22 hours agoView original
3
@abigvictory In your defense, Saran Wrap *is* a motherfucking asshole.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
4 days, 1 hour agoView original
2
@lefauxfrog My African Grey says "What up dog?" to my dog. She - rejecting his overtures of friendship - never answers.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
4 days, 2 hours agoView original
1
We passed on the $4.99 crackers, but apparently thought it okay to pay $3.78 for 2 apples & $3.43 for one square of blueberry cornbread.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
4 days, 3 hours agoView original
1
@joeschmitt Gotcha covered, dude. Do you mean the 7-11 where Mikey got arrested, or the one where we did that thing that time? See ya soon.
tdavenport from Right where you left me
4 days, 23 hours agoView original
1