The kids are complaining that I cooked the chicken wrapped in bacon. I repeat: complaining about bacon.
Time for a paternity test.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
6
Tell you what. I'll call that robe a Snuggie when we start referring to beer as Drunkie. http://tinyurl.com/8fo9ss
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
3
Tell Twitter about a stubborn booger & y'all star that shit up. But announce the beginning of a bright new era & you can hear a pin drop.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
7 hours, 36 minutes agoView original
5
Favrd only keeps a 30-day history? Whoo hooo! My political future is restored! Sweet fucking redemption!
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
9 hours, 59 minutes agoView original
9
A bookend is set. John Lennon sings Imagine on the radio. Snow finally falls softly again.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
10 hours, 42 minutes agoView original
1
I'll be damned. Triops has three eyes.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
13 hours, 2 minutes agoView original
1
Misreading the word "touchy" as "douchey" tells me it's getting late and I'm beyond exhausted and I really need to get some vinegar.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
21 hours, 54 minutes agoView original
9
@seanhussey You too, huh. Lightsaber is on my home screen. Punks at the Home Depot best believe I mean business.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
22 hours, 39 minutes agoView original
2
Bailing out the porn industry seems ridiculous until you consider all those unemployed porn starlets having to work even SUCKIER jobs.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
23 hours, 21 minutes agoView original
10
@SeoulBrother Last night, though, I had to "plumb" the badly clogged "family bathroom," and I thought to myself, "Joe deserves to be rich."
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
23 hours, 33 minutes agoView original
2
Does anyone have a conversion chart for Cheezits -> dinner? Strict caloric equivalents don't seem to be doing the trick. Thanks!
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
1 day, 3 hours agoView original
3
@ttseco A conversion! And on Orthodox Christmas day, no less! GO iTUNES!
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
2
It turns out the anatomy of the humorous workplace bathroom tweet is mostly ass.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
1 day, 6 hours agoView original
7
Aveda.com just told me my order "qualifies for complimentary pumps." Turns out that doesn't mean at all what a normal person would assume.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
1 day, 8 hours agoView original
10
Rogaine commercials are always more dramatic in person than on television, but in a "haha oh that's kind of sad" sort of way.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
1 day, 9 hours agoView original
5
According to prophecy, when I do my 5000th update, something Mayan pertaining to jaguar cream & shamans & girl, my people call it maize.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
1 day, 23 hours agoView original
8
One good thing about MobileMe's tendency to wipe out users' address books is that maybe iPhoto '09 will find/destroy embarrassing FB photos.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
1 day, 23 hours agoView original
8
That's the last time I describe an automotive predicament by paraphrasing Black Eyed Peas. Because apparently, it made my butt look fat.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
8
What AM I gonna do with all this junk, all this junk inside my trunk?
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
17
I am the embodiment of at least 3 songs from Smokey & The Bandit.
texburgher (Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
8