There are 2 kinds of people in the world: those who realize that this is the funniest thing said all day: http://tr.im/cpj …and terrorists.
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
8 hours, 43 minutes agoView original
2
Calling it now: Rays in 5. #redsox
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
13 hours, 29 minutes agoView original
1
I don't know what the fuck this POS song is, but it makes Marilyn Manson sound like a lullabye. I may shove a knife in my ear. Or both.
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
1
@fireland oh that is Pure Unmitigated Evil Genius. I mean, unless they're *trying* to get pregnant, in which case change Genius to Bastard.
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
17 hours, 19 minutes agoView original
2
$3mil for an overhead projector?
John McCain: Liar or Dumbass?
You be the judge
(http://bit.ly/overmccainshead [Note: PDF] via @nevenmrgan)
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
17 hours, 21 minutes agoView original
1
@gretchasketch duh! Everyone knows that Columbus' ships were the Niña, the Pinta, and the Straight Talk Express!
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
18 hours, 40 minutes agoView original
2
In fourteen hundred ninety two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
In fourteen hundred ninety five
Did his luggage finally arrive.
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
19 hours, 30 minutes agoView original
12
Have I mentioned that schools in Ohio aren't closed today?
Did I mention that the capital of Ohio is *Columbus* FFS?
UM, HELLO? ANYONE?!
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
22 hours, 11 minutes agoView original
5
Dear Doofus: he didn't hear it was impossible to kiss your elbow the other day; he heard THE OTHER DAY that it was impossible…oh forget it.
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
2
@panache You just *think* you do.
#SPOILER_ALERT_!
In reality, your life is all on Rod Serling's TiVo.
#DID_I_JUST_BLOW_YOUR_MIND_?
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
1 day, 6 hours agoView original
1
Just another Sunday night waiting for Dexter and Draper; or, as I like to call them, "My Stories."
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
14
Ever since The Boy heard that it was impossible to kiss your own elbow the other day (thanks, Bones!), I've caught him trying several times.
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
5
Huh. I didn't realize this was an urban legend. Had heard this way back in my pre-Internet days: James Taylor's http://xrl.us/FireAndRain
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
1 day, 15 hours agoView original
1
I've got to stop listening to rednecks talk about politics. Every time I dopeslap myself it costs me brain cells I can't afford to lose.
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
1 day, 18 hours agoView original
5
Saw my wife pull into Taco Bell. I chanted "no onions, no onions.". Then I laughed. As if she knew what that meant. Or that it'd matter.
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
1 day, 18 hours agoView original
11
In related news, why is SNL a repeat this week?! Do they not have enough material?
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
2 days, 8 hours agoView original
2
TiVo needs to add a season pass to record just the opening skit on SNL, Weekend Update, and the musical guest (for you hipsters).
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
2 days, 8 hours agoView original
5
I'm afraid I'll never make my wife any happier than showing her the 30 second skip button for jumping from play to play watching football.
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
2 days, 11 hours agoView original
1
"Friends Don't Let Friends Use Satellite Internet!"
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
2 days, 13 hours agoView original
1
"Do yo have any stocks or weather widgets that constantly update?" Yeah, cuz that's what's pushing my Internet use over quota.
tj (Tj) from Location, Location, Location.
2 days, 13 hours agoView original
1