Twitter, I love you. Unironically.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
7 hours, 48 minutes agoView original
5
There is nothing more hysterical to me than being accused of grandiosity by one who is even more grandiose than me. Fav THAT, motherfuckers.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
10 hours, 13 minutes agoView original
13
I'm told my careless remark about Palin's alleged careless remark should be vetted better than Palin was by McCain's campaign. Point taken!
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
16 hours, 38 minutes agoView original
4
Those voting for the Vice Presidential candidate who called Obama "Sambo" and Hillary "the bitch" don't get to call themselves feminists, k?
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
17 hours, 38 minutes agoView original
8
Woke up feeling like a target. Then realized this was the shirt I'd gone to bed wearing: http://is.gd/2i0F (Related: Fuck you, Sarah Palin.)
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
18 hours, 6 minutes agoView original
2
It's become painfully apparent that I spent my twenties in a loveless, traumatic marriage and have been taking it out on bars & blogs since.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
18 hours, 36 minutes agoView original
4
"I think he hates me now." "Why?" "It's complicated." "Complicated how?" "Well it's stupid." "Internet-Stupid?" "Yes, it's Internet-Stupid."
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 2 hours agoView original
16
@crispycracka If you love her, why not, you know, get under *her*?
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
2
Oh, Foodbank Potato Salad, you are so much like my ex-wife. Just because I'll eat you doesn't mean I actually like you.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
14
@jefferyharrell But... really. Aren't we *all* @luomat? (And @tj?) You know, on a cosmic level.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
2
@tj DUDE. I totally shouldn't be telling you this but @luomat is saying some super-mean shit about you.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
5
He: "Put some hot sauce on my burrito, baby!" Me: "Don't write checks w/ yr txt that yr ass can't cash." He: "That's more like an empanada."
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
6
It's good you can block users on Twitter. But can Twitter itself block users? Like, never let my husband get an account for any reason EVER?
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
3
Okay, so I'm STILL not getting laid, and still not going to show. 8 year old and me holdin' down the fort. My Friday night? Death by Disney.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 11 hours agoView original
5
Stupid husband going to stupid Hatebreed/Halo of Locusts show at stupid Canal Club without me because stupid me forgot to arrange childcare.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 13 hours agoView original
1
So that I don't end up spending my whole day apologizing to individual single horny people, consider this a blanket (ha) apology: I AM SORRY
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
6
Also, the last mammal to make an enthusiastic effort to suck on my neck is my goddamned cat. (I know, EW.)
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
1
@Akelaa Well, it's been, like, days. At least.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
1
Last night's vigil of "Am I Ever Gonna Get Any" having ended without relief, I was too tired once, in the morning, he wasn't. Yay, marriage!
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
5
Have you ever had your vibrator make an unexpected loud noise, causing your dog to start barking, thus waking your husband? Yeah, me either.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
2 days, 2 hours agoView original
21