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whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
22 hours, 17 minutes agoView original
If you can't tell if my updates are real or not, just put on your ampersand t-shirt on and skateboard over the pile of hookers on my porch.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
22 hours, 40 minutes agoView original
Because it was covered in phlegm. Karma? Oh well, popped my collar, adjusted the roll of quarters in my pocket. She wanted me.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
1 day, 7 hours agoView original
I have a cold, and spit excess phlegm on the ground. Cud-Blonde notices: "Don't waste gum." It's ok-she didn't notice the mirror on my shoe.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
1 day, 7 hours agoView original
@Jessabelle207 Admit it. You feel guilty for getting him hooked on bruisedboobies.com.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
4 days, 2 hours agoView original
Home, sweet home. Nothing like sleeping in your own bed, giving yourself a dutch oven, peeing in your own sink, wiping your own butt.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
4 days, 5 hours agoView original
Next time I want to call attention to a mockery of charity I'll use my celebrity status and corporate sponsors to organize some Ice Capades.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
@twoname Sorry to say, dude, but if you can't Matrix the LiftBalls, you're Doin' It Wrong™. Did you tell him to get off your lawn too?
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
You know you're a baller when you come home smelling like burnt ping pong balls.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
6 days, 11 hours agoView original
@detweiler Those are TERRIBLE resolutions. Go in the corner and try again.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
6 days, 23 hours agoView original
Should I feel bad for mocking an autism benefit? Maybe they should feel bad for not calling it "Seal Against Autism" or "Autism Bad".
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
6 days, 23 hours agoView original
@MinorOasis: "I'm faving your junk in real time." AWKWARD.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
@MinorOasis: "UUUGGH I ripped it. And NOT in a good way."
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
Next time you talk through a bass solo, I punch you in the voicebox.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
Sure, take that thirtieth picture. Maybe this time you won't make the same face you made in all the rest-or you'll become a beautiful celeb.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
The Mayor of Cougarville: "Gullible isn't in the dictionary."
@MinorOasis: "Why does everyone keep telling me that?"
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
Hey, I don't know if you remember this, but Dr. Evil is a Motrin Mom.
whlteXbread (Andreww Catellier) from the second W is silent
1 week, 1 day agoView original
When hitting on me: don't rationalize your life decisions and then call me "overachiever". That's why you ignored me in the high school.
whlteXbread (Andrew Catellier) from Louisville, Colorado
1 week, 5 days agoView original
If you didn't know, I'm a drummer. Old friend, out tonight, remembered this, dubbed me "Prince of Diddles". Ladies?
whlteXbread (Andrew Catellier) from Louisville, Colorado
1 week, 5 days agoView original
Cute (underage?) server, terrible service. Tipped her my phone number. Is that a thing?
whlteXbread (Andrew Catellier) from Louisville, Colorado
1 week, 5 days agoView original
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