Home again! And thanks to my few followers who didn't drop me while I was keeping my extended family from discovering Twitter's existence.
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3 days, 16 hours agoView original
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Look, it's not MY fault you don't know basic Quantum Mechanics. Why force me to provide citations? What-do-you-mean "not common knowledge"?!
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2 weeks, 5 days agoView original
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Whoa, I made the leaderboard! That hasn't happened since election day when everyone was so hopped up on hope that they had a star orgy.
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2 weeks, 5 days agoView original
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Screw my paper. Where's my Vicodin?
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2 weeks, 5 days agoView original
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The snow is falling in picturesque flakes outside my window. I think to myself, "What a beautiful screen saver." #NeedToGetOutMoreOften
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2 weeks, 6 days agoView original
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I'm trying to edit my paper. But I'm dumber today than when I wrote it, rendering me unable to make any improvements. I hate becoming dumb.
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2 weeks, 6 days agoView original
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Why is our kitchen floor so messy? B/c my 3yo, helping to clean her plate, brushes crumbs off her plate onto the floor. #NotActuallyHelping
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