So, let me get this straight: Beyonce's alter ego is a diva who likes to dance and sing and has a big booty?
Whoa, now that's a stretch.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
1 hour, 59 minutes agoView original
4
I may be suffering from the delusion that going to the gym this morning will undo all the damage of last week. I may be in for a surprise.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
8 hours, 2 minutes agoView original
1
In lieu of debates, I'm going to live-tweet the LotR telecast.
Like, what's Timothy Hutton doing in the cave with Aragog? BIG SPIDER, Tim!
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
19 hours, 53 minutes agoView original
2
Don't get me wrong. I love the LotR trilogy. It's just Elijah Wood's big sad Precious Moments Figurine eyes that make me all ill and stabby.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
19 hours, 58 minutes agoView original
10
In Jersey, even the murals are douchebags: http://twitpic.com/p3iv
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
1 day, 21 hours agoView original
3
Trying to convince hubby we need to let toddler run wild at this store. We're in Jersey, dude. Gotta be obnoxious or you arouse suspicion.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
1 day, 21 hours agoView original
12
Am I in the ONLY home in the continental U.S. that does NOT contain any pie? Seriously people, SEND PIE.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
2 days, 20 hours agoView original
5
Every time I make it to a family gathering, there's not enough wine to go around. Wait...
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
3 days, 18 hours agoView original
4
When people say of long car trips that "the kids'll sleep", they neglect to mention that said kids do have other options. Like screaming.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
4 days, 21 hours agoView original
7
All this unending traffic and toddler screeching will be totally worth it when we get to my parent's h--OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE WE DONE.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
5 days, 21 hours agoView original
21
Multiple typos and misspellings in your RFP do not fill me with confidence about your ability to pay an eventual invoice.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
6 days, 8 hours agoView original
10
My dog was all kinds of dirty, so I scrubbed the bitch clean.
This would seem more like a double entendre if I'd said "cat", wouldn't it?
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
6 days, 20 hours agoView original
7
@tj Nothing like making your kids feel SUPER special and important by actually slowing down before kicking them out of the car.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
1
Toddler was just yanking panties off the racks at Macys and handing them to attractive young women while saying "YES!". My kid = pimp.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
19
I say that it's because I'm going for a dirty-schoolgirl look, but I really just keep my argyle kneesocks on in bed to keep my feet warm.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
4
The good thing about Nyquil is that it comes in two flavors: Fucking Green Death and Fucking Red Death.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
12
If my husband would just finish up and come downstairs, I'd totally make him a peanut butter and bacon sandwich.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
1 week, 1 day agoView original
3
Geeze, say something innocuous and lose followers. I MEANT to say I always forget my gloves & I'm so cold my pink nipples could cut glass.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
1 week, 2 days agoView original
13
I'm always forgetting 2 things: my gloves, & that being a grown-up means I must drive and cannot shove cold hands in my pockets instead.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
1 week, 2 days agoView original
3
This Mirena ad is counterproductive, in that it makes me want to have 4 kids and buy a house in Memphis rather than get an IUC.
wryredhead (Wry Hussein Redhead) from Bostonish
1 week, 4 days agoView original
10