Spent the last half-hour cringing at high school journal entries. It's now clearer to me why I wasn't terribly popular.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1 day, 20 hours agoView original
1
Something feels wrong about listening to a voicemail while peeing.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
4 days, 17 hours agoView original
1
Theory: my long hair is making my head appear foolishly small. Tools used to formulate theory: eyes, reflective glass.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
6 days, 22 hours agoView original
1
Yes, beautiful man in line behind me, I am buying 1st aid for my disgusting toe. Shall we marry now?
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
2 weeks, 4 days agoView original
1
Eating yams and watching The West Wing in my underwear. Hat tip: studio apt.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
2 weeks, 5 days agoView original
1
I think that if you're anal enough to both brush AND floss after lunch in the ladies' room, you deserve to listen to me pee while you do it.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
3 weeks, 5 days agoView original
1
Driving past Griffith Park today, I had the profound honor of witnessing a nude three-legged race. Naked. NAKED THREE-LEGGED RACE, PEOPLE.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
4 weeks, 1 day agoView original
1
I taste like burger. I don't like me anymore.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1
Dad-Lindsay relations significantly improved with the Generational-Divide/Health Care/Taxes Summit. Cease fire signed by both parties.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1
It occurs to me: if a person were watching my life like a movie, it would probably be damn funny to them. I should pretend I'm that person.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1
I wonder how much of my day I spend staring at this Twitter screen, trying to come up with some humorous way of putting something mundane.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1
Banana time. See, this is the inanity that Twitter allows me to bring into your lives.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1
Hey @twitter. Ampersand, quotation, and At symbol issues are cutting people's Tweets off with ellipses.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1
Hey, fingers. I made that soup a week ago. Get over it already and quit smelling vaguely of garlic and onions. You're being unreasonable.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1
Hilarious bit of fun: turn down sound on RNC dancers, turn UP sound on Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative." Thanks, Alex Berg.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1
Formatted Twitter design to be a parlour in which I can accept gentleman callers under the supervision of my severe-looking spinster aunt.
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1
Twould seem Los Angeles forgot to mount the sky today. (SMOG JOKE)
zeekatai (Lindsay Katai) from Los Angeles, CA
1